How are you limiting yourself in your current life based on what you learned in the past? Is procrastination a cover story for simply being overwhelmed by the size of your dream? Can you love yourself now while working towards the change you want to see in the future?
In this podcast episode, I speak with Kathryn Ely about taking imperfect action and why this is the best action to take!
Meet Kathryn Ely
Kathryn is a former attorney turned licensed, national certified, counselor, author, and recovering perfectionist.
Through her Imperfect Thriving Podcast, coaching, and consulting, Kathryn helps you let go of perfection and get out of your own way so you can take action, reach goals, love your life.
Download The Ultimate Self-Value Worksheet
In This Podcast
- Kathryn’s eight domains
- What if it works?
- Give yourself compassion for where you are now
Kathryn’s eight domains
- Mental and physical wellbeing
- Intimate love and relationships
- Parenting and family
- Friends and community
- Spirituality and faith
- Learning and self-growth
- Pursuit and finances
- Adventure, artistic expression, and leisure
Kathryn will work with her clients to help them figure out in which of these domains in their lives are they lacking initiative or work. She will help them realize which domains are the most important to them and explain that they feel unfulfilled because they are neglecting these domains in particular.
Similarly, she will guide them in examining who they want to be and help them to flesh out the life they want to live because that will immediately make it easier to distinguish which domains are actually important to them.
Although, many people struggle to view themselves and their prospects in a positive light and tend to react to the hypothetical with negativity, which is a common symptom of perfectionism.
When you are a perfectionist, what you do is you hold yourself to a standard that you cannot possibly reach and when you don’t reach that standard, you berate yourself, you’re critical of yourself, and beat yourself down. That is negative reinforcement which causes us to want to avoid that in the future, so we don’t try new things because we want to avoid mistakes and we want to avoid failure and we want to avoid our own self-criticism. (Kathryn Ely)
This pattern keeps us stuck in our old behaviors because we become too afraid to try something new in fear of failing, or in fear of looking like the fool. This voice is an accumulation of what we were told as children, what we believe society expects of us, and what our parents told us to be or do in our lives. This voice in our head, however, is wrong.
This is not a voice that protects us but a voice that wants to keep us from finding, meeting, and exceeding our potential.
There is nothing that limits us in life more than the words that we say to ourselves. (Kathryn Ely)
What if it works?
In terms of confidence and self-esteem, the most crucial aspect is the way we talk to ourselves.
I say it’s knowing your self-value plus gaining clarity on your values equals self-confidence and satisfaction in life. (Kathryn Ely)
When you speak to yourself with negativity and criticism it can become the only lens through which you observe and perceive your life.
This negativity becomes the story you tell yourself and over time you forget to mention, or even congratulate, yourself on your successes and wins because you are too focused on criticizing what you did not get right as opposed to what you did do well.
- Self-value: Change the lens through which you view your life from negative to positive so that you can clearly see and interact with the good things you do and achieve too. By doing this, you begin to notice all the value that you have and all the things which you can do.
- Gaining clarity on your values: When you have clarity on your values you can determine which actions you perform are taking you either one step closer to them or one step away. You will not second guess yourself because you will not be working towards a result, instead, you will be working towards what you believe and value.
At the end of the day, it’s not about the results that you got, it’s about the process that you live. (Kathryn Ely)
Give yourself compassion for where you are now
You can do both, you can be happy with the present while looking forward to the future. You can lie in the juncture between wanting more for yourself while loving where and who you are now, instead of fueling the change with hatred or frustration.
Download The Ultimate Self-Value Worksheet
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Meet Melissa Vogel
Melissa Vogel is an energetic keynote speaker, business owner, certified personal trainer, certified group fitness instructor, 1st degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do, a mother of three, and a podcaster.
Melissa has been voted as the Best Personal Trainer for 2020 by Inland Empire Magazine, and Built the Busy to Bomb Fit Mom exercise system.
She is quickly becoming recognized for her expertise and influence in her field!
Melissa has contributed to numerous publications and has been featured in the Trail Blazer Magazine, and published in the April 2020 edition of Health Magazine. Her approach incorporates personal experience, energy, humor, and charisma.
Thanks for listening!
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