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How do you build up confidence in your children? What can parents do to create a safe and compassionate space to hear how their kids really are? Can the concepts of experimenting and timing be all you need to create healthy and long-term habits?
In this podcast episode, Melissa Vogel speaks with Susie Harder about health, communication, and kids.
Meet Susie Harder
Susie is a speech-language pathologist who specializes in working with children, coaching parents, and training other speech-language pathologists across California.
She recently wrote a children’s book to support children who lost their home in the Central California wildfire, which led to a worldwide literacy-building project. At home, she’s the mom of a 3 and 6-year-old and, during the pandemic, loves her early morning workouts to get her day headed in the right direction!
Visit her website and connect on Facebook.
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In This Podcast
- How Susie helps bolster children to build their confidence
- The power of embedding your workout in positivity
- Navigating sensitive conversations with your kids
How Susie helps bolster children to build their confidence
There’s a really big component of us just being present for our kids and not having the answer and just being available. (Susie Harder)
Having the answer can come later, where you can sit with your child and acknowledge that you noticed their struggle and want to assist them and brainstorm the solution with them can help to create a more productive conversation than simply just reacting in the moment.
It’s so funny to think about how we play things back to kids is how they internalize them. Their perspective on what happens is driven off exactly on our verbiage and how we describe it. (Susie Harder)
As parents and caregivers, people have the opportunity to put in place these powerful character descriptions, affirmations, and thoughts to their children who will then internalize these ideas as truth, even if it fully was not in the moment.
The reframing of information is a powerful tool that can either bolster and uplift your child and their self-perception, or cause them anxiety and worries when you react negatively in the moment. When parents talk to their children, they should be aware of:
- The first thing that comes out of their mouths: because their first reaction is the piece of information that will either validate or invalidate the child’s idea or opinion.
- Validating your child’s opinions does not necessarily mean you say yes to everything, but it shows them that you take their thoughts into consideration. By teaching them this an important skill, their level of communication with their peers, and within their future relationships, will become more compassionate and refined.
The power of embedding your workout in positivity
Having a good routine, whether in the morning or in the evening where you have time to yourself to do what you want to do for your health and mindset, is crucial for creating long-lasting habits. By creating a space that is for you to complete what you need to and want to do, whether that is journaling or working out, will ensure that you enjoy it more than seeing it as a chore or something extra on your to-do list.
When you get into a good routine that you enjoy and that nourishes your mental and physical health, you no longer have to fight that mental battle every day to force yourself to get it done.
Navigating sensitive conversations with your kids
The starting point for me is building in at least a 10-minute time each day to be totally present with that person without anything else going on. (Susie Harder)
When you spend this time with your kids, do not do anything else. Be present in the moment with them without having an agenda for the conversation. Creating this uninterrupted window period every day will produce a space where your children can rely on you to sincerely listen to them.
With older children, this becomes especially important when they move through adolescence. In this period they need to feel that they can trust you to listen to them without judgment, without having an instant reaction, and regard their experiences and opinions in a space that is compassionate and without any strings attached.
Books mentioned in this episode:
Hal Elrod – The Miracle Morning
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Meet Melissa Vogel
Melissa Vogel is an energetic keynote speaker, business owner, certified personal trainer, certified group fitness instructor, 1st degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do, a mother of three, and a podcaster.
Melissa has been voted as the Best Personal Trainer for 2020 by Inland Empire Magazine, and Built the Busy to Bomb Fit Mom exercise system.
She is quickly becoming recognized for her expertise and influence in her field!
Melissa has contributed to numerous publications and has been featured in the Trail Blazer Magazine, and published in the April 2020 edition of Health Magazine. Her approach incorporates personal experience, energy, humor, and charisma.
Thanks for listening!
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Bomb Mom is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a family of podcasts that change the world. To hear other podcasts like Empowered & Unapologetic, Imperfect Thriving, Faith in Practice, Grow a Group Practice or Beta Male Revolution, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.