I want you to stop and think. Who’s driving your bus? Past you or current you?
In a recent coaching call with one of my clients, this was a huge topic of conversation. Julia had always dealt with weight issues growing up and had made up her mind that this was just how she was meant to be. She was going to be an overweight person because that’s how she grew up. She is finally discovering the sexy, strong woman she is and is working so hard to maintain! But sometimes, she reverts back to when she was 10 years old and overweight, and inevitably gets stuck in the mindset of “this is just how I’m supposed to be”.
Julia grew up with a mom that had high blood pressure, diabetes, and was overweight. A young Julia saw the diet that her mom had and thought it was normal. She didn’t grow up playing any sports or exercising on a regular basis. This continued until she was in her early 20s when she decided she wanted to do something about her weight.
This was when she was introduced to diet pills. She still wasn’t exercising or eating nutritious foods. She says, “I took the easy way out.” But it worked! She dropped down to 140 pounds and was the skinniest she had ever been in her adult life. Even though she had success with the diet pills, they weren’t a magic pill that offered longlasting health and wellness benefits. It was a quick fix, but wasn’t the lifestyle change she needed to be able to sustain the weight and be healthy overall.
After this, she ended up getting pregnant, and she remembers eating everything in sight. She wasn’t equipped with the tools to make healthy decisions about what she was putting in her body. She was trying to feed herself and the baby, and it didn’t matter what that food was. “I remember when I was pregnant and there was a cute, little cafe right next door to my doctor’s office. We would always stop there after my appointments. I would get a grilled cheese, fries, and the biggest chocolate milkshake ever. I think there’s this mentality when you’re pregnant that anything goes because you’re only pregnant for so long. It kind of gives us an excuse to eat all of the bad things that we wouldn’t normally eat”, said Julia. I can totally relate to the idea of eating ice cream sundaes for lunch while pregnant. I’ve been there!
Once her son was born, she was in wedding planning mode. Julia wanted to drop the baby weight to fit in the wedding dress she had always dreamed of. So, started working out and making healthier decisions when it came to food…and she did it! She dropped the baby weight and fit into her dream wedding dress. She was at a weight she felt comfortable with, but instead of continuing this healthier lifestyle, she stopped and she began to gain weight again. This is the cycle that she was in for over 10 years.
Julia joined Busy to Bomb Fit mom last August. She was at a point where she wasn’t keeping up with her nutrition or working out. She would even avoid going on hikes with her family because she knew she was out of shape and couldn’t keep up. She saw my ad and decided to make herself a priority! Since last August, she has been on this journey of finding herself and realizing that SHE CAN DO THIS! She has realized that her mentality is a huge part of the journey to overall better health. She loves that in my program there is time once per week to reflect on the good, the bad, and the ugly from the week prior. She’s been able to get her mindset where it needs to be and has found a community of women that are all rooting for each other. The support has made a huge difference in her journey. She has dropped 25 pounds, 2 pant sizes and feels stronger and more toned! She has worked so freaking hard to get here and I’m SO PROUD of her!
Even though she’s come so far, she finds herself reverting back to her old mindset occasionally. One thing she still struggles with, even though she has the tools to make healthy decisions and live a healthy life, is eating for comfort. She recalls that one day at work, someone brought in breakfast burritos and, since they were cut in half, she felt like she could reward herself – after all, she’d been working so hard on her fitness! Food has always been thought of as a comfort and a reward for Julia. For so long, that was her habit and how she continually self sabotaged. It’s a hard mentality to escape from but the fact that she even recognizes it now is a huge step! She has the tools to understand what is happening and make the changes.
Instead of rewarding yourself with food, stop and think how else you can reward yourself! Sure, you can have that breakfast burrito for doing so well, but don’t you want to break those patterns?! That’s the whole reason you’re on this journey in the first place! That’s what the old Julia would’ve done to give herself a pat on the back. Now, with the tools that she’s learned from my group, she has the power to stop self-sabotaging and find other ways to reward herself for all of her hard work! I don’t want you to think you can’t be proud of all you have accomplished… you TOTALLY should be and you should celebrate all of the little wins! The important thing is how you break that old pattern. What could Julia do to reward herself instead of eating that breakfast burrito? She could get herself a new sports bra or a new pair of leggings! Something that still feels like a reward but also pushed her to stay on her fitness journey!
So many people reward themselves with something like an ice cream at the end of a long, hard week. Next time your husband or friends say let’s go get something like donuts or a drink to celebrate, remind yourself that you DON’T have to reward yourself with food. If you have something to celebrate, think of other ways to celebrate that accomplishment! This is going to sound cheesy as hell… Lol. But just go with it! Print out little gift certificates and write things on them that you can reward yourself with! Maybe 30 minutes of Netflix on Friday night! Or a facial at your favorite spa! Or that hair brush you’ve been eyeing. It doesn’t have to be something expensive. Start rewarding yourself with some self care and me time. Girl, you DO work hard and deserve to celebrate, but what makes all the difference is the way you celebrate. If Julia wants to stay on the path she’s on for her fitness journey, she can’t revert back to her old ways where she would celebrate with a milkshake or fast food. Now is the time to stop those unhealthy habits! You still get the reward, but just in a different way from what you’re used to!
Julia has been on this journey for over a year now and building that trusting relationship with herself will slowly start to break that habit of comfort with food. She’ll still get that comfort and reward, she’s just going to find it in a different way! She’s come so far and is doing SO good! She’s trying to correct something that she has done her whole life so it’s going to take some time! She might not always be perfect but she has the tools to change those habits that she grew up with. She doesn’t have to just accept that she’s the heavy girl, because she’s NOT anymore. She’s put in the hard work and continues to do the hard work it takes to be a bomb mom!
Recently, I gave Julia a challenge and for anyone reading this, I encourage you to try this too! Stand there in the mirror and tell yourself that you’re brave, you’re capable, and that you’re a bomb mom, or whatever title you want to give yourself. Sometimes this will make you cry, like, you’ll say it a couple times and then you’ll be like, “Oh my god! I am!” Just look at yourself in the mirror and embrace who you are now. And if that brings tears, it brings tears, but you have to love and embrace that younger version of yourself. For Julia, she has to embrace and love heavy Julia – trying to do dance classes and eating ice cream after. Love that person and then let them go. Don’t let them drive your bus anymore.
I always go back to this analogy that we’re all driving a car around. Picture a school bus. But inside our bus, we have all these different people from all stages of our life that want to take over the wheel! I want you to think of who you’re letting drive your bus right now. Because when you self-sabotage and those old behaviors come out, that’s not fit, present-day you. Because if it was she’d be like, “Bitch, get out of the driver’s seat!” You would kick her ass out! The driver that brings out all the old, bad habits is the teenage version of you, and we can’t let her drive the bus anymore! When you decide to be serious about your fitness journey, you have to let the bomb mom be the new driver! Let her guide you and help make your decision.
We are programmed as children in regards to our eating and exercise habits. This is a fact that we have to accept because there’s nothing we can do about the past. However, we CAN change the future. You have the power to decide who’s driving your bus! Is it past you that lacked self confidence and the tools to make healthy decisions? Or is it current you that has the knowledge and ability to make nutritious meals and work out a few days a week to continue on the path toward a healthy lifestyle?
If you’re ready to leave the past behind you, take control of your life, and make yourself a priority, I highly recommend checking out my Busy To Bomb Fit Mom program. I know it will make such a difference in your life just like it has with Julia. Head to the Busy to Bomb tab to learn more!