[MELISSA]: The Bomb Mom podcast is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a family of podcasts that are making the world better. You’ll also probably like the Imperfect Thriving podcast, Beta Male Revolution, and Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. Check them out at www.practiceofthepractice.com/network. Hey, what’s up everyone? If you’re looking to be inspired, motivated, educated, and entertained, you have come to the right place. Welcome to the Bomb Mom podcast, the podcast where we explore your fitness, life mindsets, and actions that help you become unstoppable. You’re worth it and it’s time to finally make changes in your life that will last you the rest of your life. What’s up everyone? Welcome back to the Bomb Mom podcast. Today’s episode is another Coaching Call with a very special guest of mine. Her name is Julia and she is a client of mine, and in the program Busy to Bomb Fit Mom, and today we are gonna discover who is driving her bus. I know you’re probably thinking, what? “Who’s driving her bus?” What the heck does that mean? And we uncover Julia’s story and her history and her past and what she’s believed over her entire life of how she was just meant to be heavy, like being overweight is normal. And she’s finally discovering her true, fit, inner beast, her sexy goddess, and it’s coming out. And that’s a journey and that’s a process. So, she’s going to share all about her past, where she’s been at, where she’s currently at, and how we’re going to move her forward. So, stick around, this is a great episode. If you miss anything or want any more information that we talk about, check out the show notes and there’s also, in the show notes, where you can get signed up for my free email course that we discuss at the end. Hey everyone, today we have our special guest on, Julia. Julia, say hello to everyone. [JULIA]: Hi, everyone. [MELISSA]: I’m so thankful that you came on and are brave enough to do this Coaching Call. I know it takes a lot of guts to come out a podcast and talk about your journey and stuff. So, I really, really appreciate it. [JULIA]: Thank you for having me. [MELISSA]: Yeah, of course. Now, Julia is a part of our Busy to Bomb Fit Mom program. And how long have you been on it now? [JULIA]: Since August, so… [MELISSA]: When’s your anniversary? I’m trying to think now. [JULIA]: Seven, eight months. [MELISSA]: August. Yeah. So not quite a year. To watch you, though, transform has been such a blessing, like, I think you are one of my first calls that I actually remember – because it’s hard now to put a name to a face in a story. [JULIA]: Right. [MELISSA]: And I just remember your story and you talking about your drive with your son and hockey and like, oh my god, all of it, like, pieces of it stuck out, and to be able to know and have talked to that woman then and then get to talk to you now, like, your journey has just, it’s amazed me. It really has. [JULIA]: Thank you. And it’s all with your help. [MELISSA]: Thank you for trusting me with that. So, tell us a little bit about your story, you know, even growing up, give us a little bit of background, because then we’ll dive into where you’re currently at now and where you feel like you’re still stuck. [JULIA]: Okay. I was always heavy. I just always remember being the heavier girl, I thought it was normal. My mom was overweight, so, to me, it was normal. I saw her diet I saw her, you know, get high blood pressure, diabetes, but she was always heavy and then I was always heavy. So, it kind of just, for me, I thought that was normal. And her side of the family had health issues and had, you know, other people in there that were overweight. So, I think I just accepted that I was the heavy girl and it just kept going throughout my life. I was the one who I had to ask my own date to prom because I was a heavy girl. So, it all just kind of carried through all the way to my adult life, that that’s just who I was. [MELISSA]: I don’t think I realized, either, about your mom. [JULIA]: Yeah. [MELISSA]: I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that before, that your mom was heavy too and that’s what you witnessed and just saw growing up. Interesting. Okay. [JULIA]: So, you know, just kind of accepting that and then once I got, probably early 20s is when I decided I wanted to change it. I was never an athlete. I danced growing up, but obviously it wasn’t… I didn’t do competitive, so I wasn’t there, like, how some of these girls who do dance are there hours on end, I was there a couple hours a week and that was it. So [MELISSA]: Okay. [JULIA]: I didn’t exercise, I didn’t play sports, I didn’t do any of that. [MELISSA]: Okay. And then what happened in your 20s when you were like, more aware of it and wanted change? Did you do anything? Like, did you start dieting? Did you start working out more then, or? [JULIA]: I got introduced to diet pills. So, no. I still wasn’t working out. [MELISSA]: That’s okay. [JULIA]: I wasn’t watching what I was eating. I took the easy route. And it worked. [MELISSA]: Okay. Girl, like, don’t be ashamed of that. There’s so many women listening right now going, “Holy shit, that’s my story. Oh my God. That’s me. Yes, that’s me.” and the fact that you just, like, said that and admitted it, like, you just took a weight off of everyone else’s chest too. So, bravo. [JULIA]: (inaudible) [MELISSA]: And did they work? [JULIA]: Oh, yeah. [MELISSA]: Did you lose weight? [JULIA]: Oh, yeah. I was the skinniest I’ve ever been. I dropped to 140 pounds which, I want to say the last time I was 140 pounds was probably like middle school, like, they worked. [MELISSA]: Really? Okay. [JULIA]: Yeah. [MELISSA]: And then what happened? And then, what’s next? Like, did you get married? [JULIA]: I got pregnant, and then ate anything I wanted. So, you know, I would have ice cream sundaes for lunch because I had to feed myself and the baby, and I ate whatever I wanted and didn’t work out, obviously that didn’t start either, so, just continued on that bad path. [MELISSA]: Can I just say that when I was pregnant, and we would go to the doctor’s office, you know, like, you go once a month, you know, and then as you get closer to your due date, you go more and more. There was this, like, old school kind of, like, café – it reminded me very 50s – every time we went, like, the bigger I got or the more sick I felt, I’m like, “We have to stop” and we’d have lunch and I’d get, like, grilled cheese and fries, and every time I got the biggest chocolate milkshake you could imagine. [JULIA]: Yeah. [MELISSA]: Shocking, right? Like, what? Melissa did that? [JULIA]: Yeah. [MELISSA]: So, no, I get it. Like I get your struggle and like, I’m feeding the baby. Like, when will I ever get to do this again? [JULIA]: Exactly. [MELISSA]: I get it. Yeah. [JULIA]: Baskin Robbins for lunch. [MELISSA]: Yeah. [JULIA]: No, it got to the point where my nurse would knock a couple pounds off of my weight so my doctor wouldn’t get mad at me. So, I honestly don’t know how much weight I gained during my pregnancy. [MELISSA]: Oh, my God. [JULIA]: Yeah. [MELISSA]: Okay. [JULIA]: It was bad. Looking back at it now. [MELISSA]: Yeah. [JULIA]: It was bad. [MELISSA]: Well, you know a lot now like so you can look back and be like, “Oh my god, that behavior was insane.” [JULIA]: Yeah. [MELISSA]: No, I get it. Okay, so son was born. You have a little boy. And then you got married. I know you’re married now, right? [JULIA]: Yep. [MELISSA]: So, what did life look like as a mom? What did mom life look like? You know, with your nutrition, working out or not working out? [JULIA]: So, when he was young, I started working out because we did things backwards, I got pregnant first and then we got married, so I wanted to lose weight, all the baby weight, to be able to, you know, have the dream wedding dress and all that. So, I was working out. Nutrition, I started doing shakes and I dropped the weight. Healthy ways… I stopped using diet pills, stopped trying to find a quick fix. I actually did it, and dropped the weight for the wedding, and then got comfortable and it went back up again. And that’s kind of my, you know, I get uncomfortable and then I lose weight and then I get comfortable and then back… up and down. [MELISSA]: So, it’s been like this, like, a roller coaster for you. [JULIA]: Yeah. Nolan’s 13, so 13 years of up and down. [MELISSA]: Yeah, yeah. So, where were you at when you joined the group, you know, like, where were you at mentally? Where were you at physically? [JULIA]: So, mentally, I was in a dark place. So, I joined with you in August. January, I had started doing keto, lost 25 pounds in like two and a half months, gained 10/15 of that back and just stopped doing anything. And I wasn’t working out then, either. So, I wasn’t working out. I’d stopped with my nutrition. And when I saw your ad, it got to the point where I didn’t even want to go on a hike with my family because I just knew I was so out of shape and I couldn’t do it, and so I was in a bad place because the fact that I was recognizing that I don’t even want to spend time with my family, and do stuff that they want to do, because my husband and son are extremely active. I didn’t want to do stuff that they wanted to do because I didn’t want to be the one holding them back. I didn’t want to realize how out of shape I was and how bad it had gotten again. [MELISSA]: Yeah. I totally remember you telling me that. [JULIA]: Yeah. [MELISSA]: Like it was yesterday. Okay, seriously, like, I remember, like, oh, yeah, clear as day, like you were, like, the hiking girl and, like, I don’t even want to go, like, I’m gonna be there. And, again, I appreciate you even saying that and bringing it up, because there’s so many people that can relate to this story, Julia. That’s why I’m so glad that you’re doing this because so many women are, like, nodding their heads going, “Oh my god. Yes, yes.” And I know they’re dying to hear, like, more about your journey and where you’re at now and how you got here now. So, you join the group. You see my ad, you join the group and you’re like,” I’m over this. I’m over this.” What has your journey been like since August? [JULIA]: It’s been finding myself, knowing that I can do it. The very beginning was more pushing it for myself, because I had failed so many times that I wanted to prove to myself first that I could do it, prove to my husband that I could do it. I actually worked out from home for about two months before I even mentioned joining a gym again, because there’s been so many times that I’ve joined the gym, worked out, stopped going, that I literally didn’t tell him about anything I was doing for two months, to be able to finally have that under my belt and in my holster, technically, to say, “I’ve been doing this, I want to go back to the gym.” So, I finally joined the gym, and it’s amazing how much the mental part of it, of having us, you know, reflect on our week, reflect on what we did, what we did good, bad, ugly, all of it. And then knowing that we have a new week to start, it’s huge. It’s more, and I’m realizing now it’s more mental than it is physical. Yes, it’s a nutrition. Yes, it’s working out. But having my head in the right spot, knowing that I can do it, having support, is the biggest part of it. [MELISSA]: Yep. Where are you at now, physically? Like, how much have you lost? If you don’t mind sharing that, like, you don’t have to say how much you weigh. That’s totally up to you. But with body fat and fat, like, how much have you transformed? Or even size. Like, I hate even using the body weight number, you know, because we have like, you know, those big shows that are like, “Oh my God, I’ve lost 80 pounds.” It’s like, yeah, well, you know what? Losing 10 pounds is a really big freakin’ deal. [JULIA]: Right? [MELISSA]: So, where are you at now? You describe it however you want. [JULIA]: Since August, I’m down 25 pounds. I hit that about a week and a half ago. And size wise, I’m down two pant sizes. I’ve dug out smaller leggings out of my drawer. And so, it’s kind of nice, because it’s like getting a whole new wardrobe but it’s all the stuff I haven’t fit in for years. So, size wise I’ve gone down. I can tell, in my body, I’ve toned up, Body fat wise, I’m not sure exactly now because I haven’t gotten a scan because of everything going on. I mean, before everything happened, I want to say… I don’t even remember. But just, physical, seeing the difference and looking back at pictures and seeing how much I’ve changed. It’s crazy how much, you know, what is it, six, eight months has gone by and what’s changed. [MELISSA]: Even your face, and I mostly get to see your face because, you know, we do, like, our Zoom call and stuff like that, or we see pictures and video on our group page and everything that we do. Your face is just so different, like your neck and your cheeks and, like, how your shoulders have taken shape. It’s like, oh my God. Do you see that too, in yourself? [JULIA]: I do. [MELISSA]: The change in your actual face and how you look? [JULIA]: Oh, it’s crazy. I mean, just pictures seeing how, and I don’t want to say round, but how round my face was. And now there’s, like, I have cheekbones. I have a chin. It’s not just a big circle. [MELISSA]: Right? Right. So, all these changes that you’ve experienced, and just this journey you’ve been on, where do you find yourself still struggling? [JULIA]: Once I get to a point, like I hit, I finally hit that 25-pound marker. I then proceeded to, at work, someone brought in breakfast burritos and they had them cut in half and I was like, “Oh, it’s only half of a breakfast burrito.” So, I had half of my breakfast burrito. I feel like I need to reward myself, which I’ve always rewarded myself or comforted myself for emotionally, kind of, that’s how I coped with stuff, with food. And so, I find myself, like, I eat half of a breakfast burrito and, like, what the hell am I doing? You know, I did all this, I’ve come so far, for what? It’s not a reward. Food shouldn’t be a reward anymore, you know, and it shouldn’t comfort me, and that type of stuff. But it’s always been, you know, the reward or the comfort or all of that, that it’s hard to break that kind of self-sabotage. It’s hard to break that, I guess, that habit that I’ve had for however long. [MELISSA]: Yeah. And you don’t know any different yet. I mean, you know some, you know, you definitely know more than others by just being in the group and stuff. But going back on everything that you said with your childhood and growing up and what you witnessed and like, what you just accepted. That all plays a really big role in the person you are today. And I don’t think people really realize that how much they were programmed as a child reflects in, you know, the child Julia reflects in the adult Julia right now. And it does go back to a lot of like, self-love, self-reflection, self-confidence. [JULIA]: Right. [MELISSA]: And accepting where you’re at now, in this new skin, and getting comfortable here. And that’s one of the reasons why, you know, the program is longer steps. It’s like, your first 30 days and then your next six months, and not just short ones, because now you have to learn how to be Julia 25 pounds less, and we don’t even know how much body fat percentage less, you know, I guarantee that number is high. So, getting comfortable. Go ahead. [JULIA]: No, I was gonna say, I remember, like, I was talking about having a couple dance classes a week. I remember, literally right after dance class would be over, we would go straight to the ice cream shop and I would sit there and have an ice cream. So, it is from, you know, programmed from when I was little, as a reward, [MELISSA]: Yeah. And so that whatever activity you were doing, you’d like just counteracted it at the ice cream shop. [JULIA]: Exactly. [MELISSA]: Yeah. And but look at you now. Look at you, talking about it and identifying this. [JULIA]: Right. [MELISSA]: That’s a really, really big step. [JULIA]: And I don’t think I’ve done that before, actually sat and thought about it. [MELISSA]: And yeah, you had half of a burrito the other day, but you didn’t just blindly eat it, like, you stopped and like, “why am I doing this? Oh my god, I just did that. Why did I do that?” And you did have self-reflection, and that is one of the biggest steps in overcoming self-sabotaging behavior and allowing yourself to go forward is 1, just stopping and identifying. So, the more you can do it, and if you’re like, “Melissa, how do I stop this self-sabotaging behavior?” You’re already doing step one, it’s like, stopping, identifying. And you are going to have to become even uber aware of times and situations in your life that you do it with yourself, or with your son, or your family’s doing it, of, “Oh, we did this. Now we get rewarded with a food choice.” [JULIA]: Right. [MELISSA]: And, I think, the more you stop and become aware. Use something else to reward yourself, so, example, you’re in the office, they bring in the breakfast burrito and you’re like, “Okay, I’m going to have half.” 1, bravo for only eating half. Right? Like, girl, you could have had the whole thing, but you didn’t. You have enough practice under your belt with the group and becoming a new person, you’re like, I’m gonna have half. That’s improvement right there. And then 2, you’re like, I’m totally rewarding myself because I hit this 25-pound marker and now I’m rewarding myself. Okay, great. Stop. Back away from the burrito. What else could you have done, maybe? And I’m gonna put you on the spot, like, what could you have done that would have been another way to reward yourself? Can you think of anything off the top of your head? [JULIA]: I could get a new sports bra, or new leggings, or a new piece of equipment for our home gym. Something that would keep me on my journey. [MELISSA]: Yeah. Hey, so I thought this would be a good time to give you guys a little bit more information on my online program, Busy to Bomb Fit Mom. If you are looking to be motivated, inspired, finally get off your butt and do the things that you want to do with your health and your fitness and your workout and your body and hit those goals, we need to talk. Busy to Bomb Fit Mom is a full online program, it’s a 90-day program that’s going to get you into the best shape of your life. Now, is it an easy diet plan to follow? Or all these amazing workouts that I’m just going to hand you on a silver platter? No, this program is going to love and support you. It’s going to motivate you. Get you heading in the right direction. But you don’t have to do it alone, you’re going to have an entire support system with you. You’re going to have me as your coach coaching you on nutrition, your workouts, I become your virtual personal trainer. So, if this is something that you’re looking for and you just need that extra push and someone on your heels telling you that you’re worth it and it’s time, we need to talk visit www.busytobombfitmom.com, book a call with me. Let’s see if this is a fit for you. All right, back to the show. So, next time that situation comes up, do you have sticky notes? [JULIA]: Uh huh. [MELISSA]: Random question, I know. Costco has a big, like, package of sticky notes, and you can get, like, pink and yellow and green and whatever, get it. Anyone listening, get this package of sticky notes at Costco. Use that and peel off a sticky note and write on it: I am choosing to not use food as a reward right now, but I’m writing myself an IOU to go get a new sports bra right after work, or this weekend, or whenever you can get it. Save that frickin’ sticky note, put it in your wallet, put it in your car or whatever, and then follow through with yourself, because you have to build that trusting relationship with yourself and your actions. Because right now, your body knows and trusts that relationship with food, like, “Oh, hey, if I do this, she’s gonna give me this food. And then I have all these good feelings after, and this is a really safe pattern and cycle for me to stick to.” And you got it as a kid, you saw it as a kid, and you just accepted that, that that’s the way it was and that’s the norm, and now we’re going to break it. So now we’re going to give you a tool to break it with. And writing IOUs to yourself? There’s nothing wrong with that. I’ve even had clients take it a step further, and you can print off gift certificates, like, you can, like, Google ‘free gift certificate’ or, like, make it on, you know, Word or whatever. I know it sounds super cheesy, but create gift certificates for yourself and then fill them out, print them out, have some at your office, have some at your home, and when you’re at that point in life where you’re like, “Man, let’s go out and celebrate and get ice cream, or doughnuts for everyone.” And you’re like, “Well, I did work really hard this week.” Great. Reward yourself, pull out a gift certificate, fill it out for something that you want. And it doesn’t have to be like, “Oh God, well then I’m going to spend money on shoes all the time and sports bras or whatever” right? A gift certificate to yourself to be like, “I’m going to shut off work and I get 30 minutes of TV tonight.” You know, like, whatever, I’m just using as an example, or, “Man, I would really like to get my car detailed”, you know, like, “and If I really turned away office doughnuts and I got my cardio in and this resistance training session in, like, hell yeah, I deserve to get my car detailed.” Do you see what I’m saying though? [JULIA]: Yeah. [MELISSA]: I have these cheesy gift certificates. Maybe we should share this with the group. I don’t know. I thought it was too cheesy to share with the group and here I am sharing it on the podcast, but this is just our little secret, Julia. [JULIA]: No, I like it. Because then, you know, I can go back and I can keep in my wallet and pull them out, or I can make them for when I want something and then, yeah, work towards it. [MELISSA]: Yes. And it’s just something tangible. It’s like something you can hold on yourself. You know, yeah, we can, like, write a to do list or be like, “Okay, well next time I’m at the store, I’m going to grab this that I really wanted, I really wanted a new detangling hairbrush” or you know, whatever. It doesn’t have to be big items, but it’s something paper that you wrote to yourself. I stick it in my wallet, where like my credit cards are and stuff, so when I go to pay for something and I open that I’m like, “Oh yeah, that’s right, I got seven HIIT workouts in last week and I turned down ice cream with the family.” So, use it, I’ll see if I can find the PDF that I use too, but honestly, you can, like, Google it and just find anything. But the big picture that I want you to start creating for yourself is that trust that you worked hard and you’re going to trust yourself to reward yourself. Still, we’re not going to take that reward away. [JULIA]: Okay. [MELISSA]: That’s one thing that I want you to hold on to and know that, like, that reward is not going anywhere. You’re still gonna get it, you’re just gonna get it in a different way, you know? [JULIA]: Right. In a better way. [MELISSA]: And see if your husband’s on board with this too. Yes, yep. in a better way. See if your husband’s on board with this, too, and ask him, like, “Can I write a gift certificate out for you to give me a back rub for 15 minutes?” you know and use him. [JULIA]: Yeah. [MELISSA]: Be like, “Is it okay?” You know, and you could fill him in, tell him why you’re doing it and be like, “I just, I need this, like, you know, when I need it, I need to know I can write this out to myself and you’re on board, you’re gonna support it, versus me going and ordering a burrito, you know, like, yeah, I count on you.” He might say no, I don’t know. [JULIA]: He’ll be good, so I don’t eat a burrito. [MELISSA]: Oh, good, good. But yeah, explain to him why, don’t just be like, “Yeah, I’m writing these free gift certificates, and I need you to contribute.” [JULIA]: “You owe me a massage.” [MELISSA]: “There’s a reason.” Yeah. “There’s a reason, you’re saving me from jellybeans.” Oh, wait, that’s my thing. But build that trusting relationship with yourself, and this is going to slowly start to break that habit of comfort with food. It’s going to help replace, you’re still going to get that comfort, you’re still going to get that reward. We’re just going to find it in a different way, and because you’ve come so far and you’re doing so good, so I want to make sure that that’s really clear to you that, like, you are like seven months in deep to changing a problem that’s – I don’t know how old you are, we’re just gonna say 30 – that’s over 30 years old. Baby steps, you know. [JULIA]: It’s a long habit. [MELISSA]: Very long habit. You were programmed into believing something that wasn’t true at such an early age. I’m so glad that you brought that up, about your childhood and stuff, because you said you just accepted, like, being heavy’s normal, being heavy’s overweight. I’m just a heavy girl. [JULIA]: Yeah. [MELISSA]: And you’re not, Julia. Like, you are not that heavy girl anymore. So, learn to get comfortable in your new skin with selfies. If there’s one good thing of the devil selfies, it’s taking pictures that you can take and you like how they come out and they look, you know. Take selfies of yourself. Go on those hikes now and remember what it felt like to not be able to go on the hike and be like, “Damn it, I don’t even feel like going on the hike. But I’m going to do it just because I can.” [JULIA]: Because I want to. [MELISSA]: Yeah, yeah. Because you want to. And that’s going to help you realize that your identity isn’t the heavy girl anymore. Your identity now, is a bomb mom, a fit mom. And sometimes, when you, like, stand in the mirror, and I want you to do this. I’m going to challenge you tonight, to do this today and until Sunday, all right? So, we got few days to do it. Or whatever day you guys are listening to this on, do it for like the next four days. Stand there in the mirror, and I want you to tell yourself that you’re brave, you’re capable, and that you’re a bomb mom, or whatever title you want to give yourself. And sometimes this will make you cry, like, you’ll say a couple times, we’ll say it a couple times, and then you’ll be like,” oh my god, I am” and just look at yourself in the mirror and embrace who you are now. And if that brings tears, it brings tears, but you have to love and embrace that little Julia, you know, heavy Julia, just trying to do dance classes and eating ice cream after, love her and then let her go. Don’t let her drive your bus anymore. I always say that, like, that analogy of, like, we’re all driving this car around, right? Picture this school bus and this car and we all are driving this vehicle. But inside our car we have all these different people from all stages of our life that want to take over the wheel, right? And I want you to think of who you’re letting drive your car right now. Because when you do self-sabotage and those behaviors come into play, that’s not fit Julia, present Julia, right now, on this day, driving that car, because if it was she’d be like, “Bitch, get out of the driver’s seat. What the fuck are you doing?” You would kick her ass out. Who’s ever in the car, and I guarantee it’s probably a teenage Julia, you know? Pay attention to who your driver is. And when you do that, and you just stop for a second, no matter how uncomfortable it feels, because when we’re in deep and we’re like, “No, I don’t care” if we go into eff-it mode, and we’re just like, “Whatever. I’m just going to eat this” or like, “No, screw it, I have a headache and I’m not going to work out today.” You know, we throw a pity party. It’s really hard to stop and go, “Okay, okay, everyone, just back up. Who’s driving this car right now?” and identify it. Sometimes it’s going to be really little Julia, standing in the kitchen, watching her mom do something or have a conversation with something and hearing something and she takes over the car. I know little Melissa, oh my god, she was a little shit. And she tries to take over that car sometimes, and derail me all the time, and I just put her right in the back, and I have to take over. So, what’s cool though, is that you have – and it makes me sad for the women that aren’t a part of our group – but you have all these months under your belt, and you have a new driver now. [JULIA]: Yeah. [MELISSA]: Other women don’t have a new driver yet. And it’s up to them to take the action steps to get the new driver and become there, to have a new person, but you’re already there. You have a new driver; you just have to let her drive more. You just have to let her take over more. And I think when you start doing that and stopping and identifying, that’s going to make you stick to your goals even more, that’s going to improve your confidence even more, and your self-worth even more, and the biggest thing, you’re going to self-sabotage a hell of a lot less. So much less. And we’re going to let everyone in the car know, we’re not taking away your rewards or your comfort, we’re just gonna do it in a different way. How does that sound? [JULIA]: Sounds, well, not easy, but sounds like a good easy plan to put into action. [MELISSA]: Very simple, very simple, right? But easy? No. It’s gonna take work. And I encourage you to get colorful sticky notes for your IOUs for now, or print out your gift certificates, but I also encourage you to write one of your affirmations. It’s not even going to be an affirmation; it’s just going to be more something that you can visualize. And I want you to put on it, in, like, just big, black marker, “Who’s driving the car right now?” and no one else will get it. Someone else might see that stuck on your desk at work, or in your car, or in your fridge, open up a cupboard where there’s food, and then you’re going to see it because you’re proud. You’re going to need like five of these. You can even, like, decorate it. I’ve even had women take it as far as like put sparkles and glitter on it and like make it just like this beautiful art piece, and in the middle just say, “Who’s driving the car right now?” And you know what? Julia, sometimes you’re gonna look at that and you’re gonna be like, “Yeah, I don’t care. 10-year-old Julia is right now, and I don’t even care.” But it still got you to stop, it still got you to think, and it still got you to identify who’s driving the car. [JULIA]: I like it. [MELISSA]: And then sometimes, you might let her keep driving. And then other times, you’re gonna be like, “No, get out. Nope. No, you’re not driving right now because I’ve come too far to only come this far. Screw this noise, get out.” [JULIA]: And I love that saying. [MELISSA]: Sound good? [JULIA]: Yeah. [MELISSA]: Yeah, I didn’t come this far to only come this far. It’s true. And oh my god, your transformation is huge and there are women listening, and men listening, right now that would kill to be in your shoes right now, you got to always remember that, like, your current situation is someone else’s body goals [JULIA]: Which is hard for me to realize because I’m so, I don’t know, it’s hard for me to think of it that way. Because I’m so self-conscious or so, I don’t know, biggest critic or whatever it is. And I get that, it makes sense, but it’s hard for me to, I guess, accept it. [MELISSA]: It’s not hard for you to accept it, it’s hard for whoever’s driving your car to accept it. It’s hard for little Julia to accept it. [JULIA]: True. [MELISSA]: Bomb mom Julia, who’s only seven months old, she’s just a baby, she’s just not confident yet enough to take over all the time. She’s getting there. She has the confidence. And I’m going to tell you this, if you were in my gym, and we were personal training and you saw some of the clients that would walk in, like, when you’re in my gym, it’s just a constant flow, people are coming, they’re ending, they’re leaving, the new person is already in there warming up and constantly going. If you were in the gym, if you saw some of the people that were before you and then came in after you, it changes you, and everyone always, like, looks at the person before them and after them. And I’m like, “Don’t compare, stop looking, I can already tell what you’re doing.” And that’s usually how we start our sessions. I guarantee you, I can think of five clients that, if they followed you, they’d be like, “Damn, that’s my body goal right there.” And one time, I even had someone say that, I even had a client come in, and it was so funny, the client that was working before her, you know, she’s been on this journey. She’s probably got like another 30 pounds to lose, but she looks great, but she’s, you know, still got a long way to go. But she’s come really far, and she doesn’t see herself as, like, the fit person she wants to be. And the person came after her and she warmed up, and she’s kind of watching what we’re doing, and she’s like – the heavier girl, she was on the elliptical – and she was like, “Oh my god, I want your body. Like, I cannot wait until I’m there.” and then, the other client was like, “Oh, you know, thank you, you know” and she left and we wrapped up and stuff, and then at the end of the day, I got a text and she goes, “I walked out of your gym, and I bawled” and I’m like, “You did? Why?” and I’d forgotten the conversation that took place and she goes, “For that person to say that to me, it was like a kick in the gut, a slap across the face, and be like, get your head out of your ass.” And I’m like, “Really?” She goes, “it did all three to me at once. And I went my car and just cried. Because to have someone say that to me,” she’s like, “I’ve never looked at myself before as like someone’s body goals. Like what?” Exactly, and then to actually hear it, it’s pretty crazy to her. So no, that is you, you are that client. You are that person to so many women in the group too. And they look up to you, because I know they’ve messaged me and they’ve said, “how long’s that Julia person been in the group for? Oh my god, she’s pretty amazing.” And I’m like, “you need to tell her that.” But they feel more comfortable texting and telling me in secret. But yeah, people are noticing, people notice you. They look for your posts. They want to know what you’re doing. And I noticed that ever since you were our Bomb Mom of the week, that it’s definitely picked up and people want to know and see more of you. And then you shared those before and after photos the other day, and then it, like, picked it up even more. So, people are watching, and know that you are someone else’s goals. Let that give you the confidence, accept that compliment, and let that just fire you through the rest of this journey. All right? [JULIA]: All right. [MELISSA]: Anything else that you want to talk about real quick? Do you feel like you have a pretty good game plan ahead? [JULIA]: I do. [MELISSA]: Like, “Okay, I can do this. This is tangible.” [JULIA]: I do, I feel like I know who’s driving my bus and kind of accept, like your client said, get your head out of your ass and accept that I am, like, someone’s goal weight or, you know, and it’s crazy to think, but to kind of accept that, and let that sink in, and just move forward knowing I have done it and I can keep doing it. [MELISSA]: Absolutely. Absolutely. Oh, Julia, I feel like we could talk forever. [JULIA]: Just keep going. [MELISSA]: Like, we could just keep going on and on. But I hope that helped. I’m glad and we’re gonna follow up on this too, we’re going to talk about this and share about it in the group too. But thank you so much for coming on today and sharing your story that I know has just touched so many women right now. [JULIA]: Thank you. [MELISSA]: Yeah. And you guys, make sure you check out our website if you’re curious about the group that we’re talking, it’s www.busytobombfitmom.com, super easy to remember, it’s in the show notes, and then, also, sign up for my free email course and you can do that at www.melissavogelfitness.com/course, and in there, you’re going to get an email series for me, it’s not insane or, like, million a day, but it’s just going to take you through, even the stuff that I’m talking about with Julia and self-confidence, self-image, you know, being aware of, like, what we’re looking at at the grocery stores, on the magazine covers in line, like, all that I cover that in this email course. And then you’re going to get a free calendar too, of how to just get yourself from no activity to massive activity in 30 days, and what’s the easy workout program that you can just follow to just get yourself moving. So, make sure you sign up for that because it’s totally free. Julia, make sure you’re signed up for it too. [JULIA]: I will. [MELISSA]: All right, great. Thank you again. Everyone make sure you rate and review this podcast. It’s like leaving me a huge tip in my tip jar, and thank you again, Julia. Until next time, everyone, stay safe, stay healthy, and we will be back soon. Bye! If you’re ready to become a bomb mom, join my free course over at www.melissavogelfitness.com/course. This podcast is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. This is given with the understanding that neither the host, Practice of the Practice, or the guests are providing legal, mental health, nutritional, or other professional information. If you need a professional, you should find one.