Are you actually rewarding yourself with self-sabotage? How can you get comfortable with the new you? Which version of yourself is driving the bus?
In this podcast episode, Melissa Vogel talks to her client, Julia, about her journey to becoming a bomb fit mom.
In This Podcast
- Becoming a Bomb Fit Mom
- Where Julia is still struggling
- Finding more constructive ways to reward yourself
- Getting comfortable with your new self
- Don’t let the old you drive the bus anymore
Becoming a Bomb Fit Mom
Yes, it’s nutrition. Yes, it’s working out. But having my head in the right spot, knowing that I can do it, [and] having support is the biggest part of it.
Julia joined in August of 2019, when she was in a dark place, mentally. Physically, she had lost 25lb in 2.5 months of doing keto but had gained about 10-15lb back; she wasn’t working out and had stopped with her nutrition. Her husband and son are very active, but she felt that she was too out of shape to join them on their hikes and adventures. She started to recognize that she needed to make that change in order to spend that time with her family and not be holding them back in any way, so when she came across Melissa’s ad for the course, she joined the Busy to Bomb Fit Mom group.
Julia started by working out at home until she could prove to herself and to her husband that she could do it. About two or so months in, she joined a gym and has been thriving particularly in the mental aspect of the workout, reflecting on all the good, the bad, and the ugly from the previous week, and she has realized that it is more about the mental than the physical for her. Since starting the course, Julia has lost 25lb and is down two pants sizes, so she rejoices in being able to wear a bunch of clothes that haven’t fit her for years and describes it as a whole new wardrobe. She hasn’t gone for a scan in a while and isn’t sure about her body fat percentage, but she can definitely feel the difference and see it when she looks at old photos of herself pre-course.
Where Julia is still struggling
Right from when she was little, Julia remembers being rewarded with ice-cream after every dance class. Now, when she reached that 25lb goal, she treated herself to half of a breakfast burrito. She has always seen food as a reward or emotional comfort, and she’s busy unlearning that and breaking that habit of self-sabotage. A lot of what we were programmed to believe as kids is reflected in us as adults and the process of breaking those habits involves a lot of self-love, self-reflection, and self-confidence. An important first step to take is reflecting on your actions and identifying the problematic behaviors that should be changed, even if this means that you become hyper-aware of the situations that lead to those behaviors.
Finding more constructive ways to reward yourself
In the case where Julia rewarded her progress with food, she has to find another way of rewarding herself that will help her on her journey, such as new gym clothes or a new piece of equipment for their home gym. Melissa’s advice to Julia is to make yourself IOUs for rewards that are more constructive for your journey than food:
- Use sticky notes, such as those in a bulk pack from Costco, and write yourself an IOU for the replacement reward. You need to actively choose not to reward yourself with food, write that IOU, and put the sticky note in your wallet, car, or somewhere else you’ll see it when you have the time to go out and buy yourself something that contributes to your journey rather than sabotaging it.
- Make gift certificates and coupons for something like a new sports bra, some self-care time, etc. and cashing them in when you reach a goal, no matter how big or small that goal is. Make sure to follow through with that IOU and build a trusting relationship with yourself instead of with food, thereby creating a safe and healthy pattern of progress/success and positive/constructive rewards.
Getting comfortable with your new self
Julia had accepted being the heavier girl for most of her life, and it is challenging to break that and get comfortable with a new, different reality. She has to learn to become comfortable in her new skin, such as by taking selfies or looking in the mirror to visibly acknowledge her progress and slowly build up the confidence to join her family on those hikes, for example. Julia’s change from the “heavier girl” to a bomb fit mom is a change in identity, and it’s going to be a challenge involving hard-work and reinforcements. These are some affirmations that you can write down and say to yourself to help you get comfortable with this new self if you, too, have undergone this transformation of identity. For a few days, look in the mirror and tell yourself:
- You are brave
- You are capable
- You are a bomb mom (or whatever title you want to give yourself)
Don’t let the old you drive the bus anymore
You are in a bus full of all the versions of yourself that you have been throughout your life. In those moments when you revert to old, unhealthy, self-sabotaging habits, the old you is driving the bus and is in control of your behavior. The new you, going through a transformation and forming healthy habits, needs to stop, kick old you out of the driver’s seat, and make sure that they are not taking control of your feelings and your actions.
In reality, taking back that control of your life will probably feel uncomfortable but it is absolutely necessary if you are serious about breaking those bad habits and creating safe, healthy patterns for yourself. You can use this analogy to create an affirmation for yourself – write “Who is driving the bus?” in big, black marker on a note and put it up somewhere at work or at home to remind you to stay in control.
- Forgiveness Isn’t for Them, It’s for You, with Derek Stone | BM 26
- BTBFM FREE EMAIL COURSE
- Get Fit Online
- Sign up for Busy to Bomb Fit Mom
- Connect with Melissa on Facebook and Instagram
- Email Melissa: email@example.com
Meet Melissa Vogel
Melissa Vogel is an energetic keynote speaker, business owner, certified personal trainer, certified group fitness instructor, 1st degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do, a mother of three, and a podcaster.
Melissa has been voted as the Best Personal Trainer for 2020 by Inland Empire Magazine, and Built the Busy to Bomb Fit Mom exercise system.
She is quickly becoming recognized for her expertise and influence in her field!
Melissa has contributed to numerous publications and has been featured in the Trail Blazer Magazine, and published in the April 2020 edition of Health Magazine. Her approach incorporates personal experience, energy, humor, and charisma.
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