Why do we self-sabotage? How can we cope with the insecurities we face on a daily basis? How can we find the middle between the extremes of diet and exercise?
In this podcast episode, Melissa talks to Veronica Cisneros about food, how we self-sabotage and giving ourselves grace.
Meet Veronica Cisneros
Veronica is a licensed therapist and owner of Outside the Norm Counseling. She is also a wife and mom of three daughters, and she wants her girls to know who they are and feel confident about their future.
She can’t think of a better way to help other women than by demonstrating an empowered and unapologetic life. So Veronica started Empowered and Unapologetic to be a safe space for women to be vulnerable and change their lives for the better before they ever need to see a therapist.
In This Podcast
- Why do we self-sabotage with food?
- Lacking confidence
- Giving yourself grace
- Feeling insecure at the gym
- What’s holding you back?
- Cheat days
- Finding the middle
Why do we self-sabotage with food?
The instant gratification, instant validation from eating something you have been denying yourself brings on the experience of true bliss at that moment. We do it because we think we deserve it, we think we’ve earned it. We think about the right now vs looking at the long run, thinking that this one time won’t possibly hurt me. We’re obsessed with getting things now. We don’t believe our long-term goals are possible and if we don’t believe it’s possible then we don’t do it. We know how much work it takes to get us where we need to go and sometimes it’s easier for us to just say that it’s not possible.
If I’m able to go ahead and lean in and challenge that initial thought, well then the minute that donut, the minute those onion rings come up, I will become familiar with that discomfort. And that instant urge, that instant impulse to grab will turn into something else. It’ll turn into self-discipline, it’ll turn into motivation, which then turns into confidence.
We don’t invest enough in ourselves and this diminishes our self-esteem. We get to this place of not believing we can do it and so we don’t. However, the minute you grab that donut, it’s going to give you instant satisfaction. This results in an unhealthy relationship with food and we end up abusing it.
Giving yourself grace
Starting is very difficult. Accept that this is where you’re at right now. You’ll then be able to identify this unhealthy relationship with food and take action. You will need to learn from the discomfort, get comfortable with being uncomfortable, this takes time. Don’t criticize yourself. Own it, accept it, and decide what to do about it.
Feeling insecure at the gym
Insecurities can be overwhelming. You look at yourself in the mirror, or you see a fit woman walking past you at the gym, and you ask yourself “What the hell am I doing here?” You need to look back at yourself in that mirror and remind yourself that you’re doing this for you! This uncomfortable moment is temporary, yes it sucks, and maybe you’re doing it wrong but so what? You’re there! You’re doing it! Keep moving forward!
What’s holding you back?
What is it? What is the script that I’ve said to myself over and over again? What have other people taught me about my level of self-worth and my ability to grow? Oh, yeah, that’s right, I’ve been told I’m not enough. Oh, yeah, that’s right, I’ve been rejected over and over and over again, and I’ve been completely passed over. So, how in the hell am I going to develop this ability to lean into the fear when nobody’s ever taught me?
Mom’s wear a badge of honor. We do everything for everyone. We are driven by the enemy that is ‘perfection’ and the minute we see ourselves not doing it right, that’s when we tend to lean back and pretend it’s not happening. Take the time for yourself, nurture yourself, and honor your body, wherever you’re currently at. It’s not about where you want to be, it’s about where you’re at right now and the steps you’re taking towards your goals.
People argue that cheat days help them stay consistent. We romanticize our food and this prevents us from living the life we want to live.
Finding the middle
- Identify the problem and be honest with yourself
- How is it impacting your life?
- What are you willing to do about it? Be consistent
Meet Melissa Vogel
Melissa Vogel is an energetic keynote speaker, business owner, certified personal trainer, certified group fitness instructor, 1st degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do, a mother of three, and a podcaster.
Melissa has been voted as the Best Personal Trainer for 2020 by Inland Empire Magazine, and Built the Busy to Bomb Fit Mom exercise system.
She is quickly becoming recognized for her expertise and influence in her field!
Melissa has contributed to numerous publications and has been featured in the Trail Blazer Magazine, and published in the April 2020 edition of Health Magazine. Her approach incorporates personal experience, energy, humor, and charisma.
Thanks for listening!
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Bomb Mom is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a family of podcasts that change the world. To hear other podcasts like Empowered & Unapologetic, Imperfect Thriving, Faith in Practice, Grow a Group Practice or Beta Male Revolution, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.