[MELISSA VOGEL]: The Bomb Mom Podcast is part of the Practice of the Practice podcast network, a family of podcasts that are making the world better. You’ll also probably like the Imperfect Thriving podcast, Beta Male Revolution and Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. Check them out at www.practiceofthepractice.com/network. Hey, what’s up everyone? If you’re looking to be inspired, motivated, educated, and entertained, you have come to the right place. Welcome to the Bomb Mom Podcast, the podcast where we explore your fitness, life, mindsets and actions that help you become unstoppable. You’re worth it and it’s time to finally make changes in your life that will last you the rest of your life. Hello everyone, and welcome back to the Bomb Mom podcast. I’m Melissa Vogel, your host. I’m so excited that you guys are joining me here again. We have a great episode for you today and the title of today’s episode is Aspire to Inspire. I love it, I love it, I love it. So we’re going to talk about the fifth pillar of being a bomb mom and that is inspiration and being inspirational to others. And I want you to start thinking about that. Start thinking about how our actions, our decisions, what we do on a daily basis truly does affect those around us. And it makes a difference. It makes an impact. I love talking about this topic because I did not think of myself early on, you know, as someone like inspirational. I feel like I was a leader, I feel like I could help people, you know? And this is really early on. I just, I guess I just didn’t see myself, I wouldn’t emphasize like, “Oh yeah, I’m so inspirational. Just not words that would have come out of my mouth, but the more I have stepped into this role of aspiring to inspire others, like I love it and it’s such an amazing feeling and it doesn’t have to be like huge, big jumps, leaps and bounds of like inspiring you, motivating you. Like know it can be like super little things. And I love when I’m like out to eat with my friends or we’re all together and we’re doing something or I witness it with my kids and I see that like just because I’m there or like a conversation we had made it impact and it inspired them to make a better decision. Like that’s just such positive energy back and forth for them, for me, like everyone. And I know this probably scares some of you. I know some of you are probably thinking like, “Man, I’m not inspirational. And that’s kind of a lot of pressure. Like I’m not sure I really even want that pressure. You know? And I know some people are like, I don’t know if I want other people watching me or paying attention to me and what I’m doing.” I get it. You guys, I get it. But just know that when you become someone different, when you start to become that bomb mom, these are, this is isn’t going to be a scary topic. This isn’t going to be something that you want to like stay away from. But if you’re going to make some real changes in your life, you can’t help but draw some attention and this is a good thing. Trust me, this is a good thing. It’s good juice to have. It’s good vibes and energy to have. So just keep in mind that all starts with your mindset, right? Like if you’re telling yourself, “Oh my God, I don’t want anyone watching me. Oh my God, I don’t like pressure like that.” Or, “I’m not motivational. This makes me uncomfortable.” You’re going to be absolutely right. What you think, you get. What you put out there, you get. All your thoughts lead your actions and emotions. So start controlling your thoughts and feelings around inspiration and be open to it. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to be like, “Oh my God, I’m so going to be inspirational.” Like, no. Just be open to it because this is what’s huge. There’s no right or wrong way to inspire someone. Now, if you’re inspiring someone to like do drugs and make bad choices yeah, of course like that is not what we’re talking about. That’s not how I want you to be inspirational at all, but when you’re really inspiring someone to like make better choices and healthy choices and positive choices, there’s no wrong or right way to do that. And remember this too, it’s absolutely false and like a completely untrue story that people have written in their heads that like only phenomenal looking people or someone with an incredible story can inspire others. Inspiration guys, it can show up in all different ways, shapes and forms. And when you can embrace that and be like, “Hey, I might not be a movie star or like some action hero or like a motivational speaker, but I can still inspire others.” So powerful. That’s why it’s one of our pillars of being a bomb mom. But so many people, they think that, “Oh, only ripped like super athletic in shape people can inspire others. It’s so false.” You guys, that is totally not true. In my group, my Busy to Bomb Fit Mom group, the women in there inspire me daily. And it’s funny because I seriously use the group as much as they do. Their stories and what they share and they post and like this was their day but they got it done anyways. They’re like, “Hey, I’m making this healthy choice.” Or, “Today I did something that I never thought I would do.” Like it’s so eye-opening and they inspire me and I’m the leader. I’m the head coach, I’m the head mentor and they’re inspiring me. So, let’s talk about like who inspires you? Who in your life around you in your inner circle inspires you? Think about that just for a second. Is there anyone who motivates you, encourages you to be better? And this could be a friend, it could be a coach, it could be a mentor. But having someone in your life like this is extremely important. They will help you grow, they will help you evolve, and I want you to really think about that because if there isn’t anyone in your life that you can truly look up to, you do have a missing piece to your puzzle. You really do. Because this is, when you have someone that’s like, you know, a few steps ahead of you, like, again, remember this doesn’t have to be some like movie star, like someone who’s out there and just phenomenally ripped and incredible. Like this could be someone in your life that’s just a few steps ahead of you with their health and fitness game or with their career, killing it with the parenting thing, and just being a parent and adulting. Like hey, maybe they are a few steps ahead of you with just adulting. That’s important for you to have in your life and it gives you something to strive for. It gives you something to be like, “Yeah, you know what? I saw her do that the other day and that was such a smart move. That’s what I’m going to go for.” And you’re striving. You’re totally striving, but remember you can play this role in someone else’s life too. And that is what bomb moms do. That is absolutely what we do. And remember, it doesn’t have to be perfect and you don’t have to be perfect. We never will be. Like that’s so impossible. And it’s not fair to put that pressure on someone else too like, “Oh my God, you’re so perfect.” No, no, no. It’s not how we want it to be. That’s not even words we want to say. But taking on a role of being an inspirational person and allowing yourself to carry that identity, think about this. It’s not only going to affect others, because you’re inspiring others, but it’s going to change you. And here’s the kicker. Here’s my favorite thing about this being one of our pillars of being a bomb mom and one of the things that we always talk about. It’s going to apply like good pressure, like healthy pressure to you. Think about that for a minute. Healthy pressure is amazing. Think about it with your muscle growth, right? When you’re in the gym and you’re applying pressure and you’re doing like that bicep curl, that’s good pressure. That’s going to make that muscle grow. We want time under tension. Think about time under tension with you being a leader, with you inspiring others. And seriously, I want someone to listen to this podcast again and I want you to write down and count how many times I say the word inspire, inspirational, and then email me. Maybe I’ll send you a prize if someone actually does that. That’s going to be hilarious. Okay, back on track. But this is good, healthy pressure. Now in my program Busy to Bomb Fit Mom, and I don’t mean to like sit here and plug it and stuff, but I want to give you good examples. So in my program Busy to Bomb Fit Mom, you can join at any time. So it’s not a program where, “Oh, we run it for six weeks. Oh you want to join at week three? Sorry, you can’t. We already did it. You got to wait until we do another one.” No, people join at any time. So every Monday I start a whole new group of bomb moms, like newbies, fresh people in the group that are getting started. So as you’re going through this group, you slowly transitioned from a newbie to someone who’s in it to like, “Oh my God, I’m actually a bomb mom,” and then into like a veteran role. And our veterans definitely lead the pack and they inspire the entire group. And this is really cool to see the transition and people become veterans and move from newbies into a different role every week, right? Because we have new people coming in and so they’re suddenly not the newbie anymore and they’re like, “Oh shit. You know, like I kind of got this role in this group now. Like people are looking up to me.” Healthy pressure. There’s a method to my madness. Like there’s a reason why the group is designed like this and people can join any time. And this is why. And you move through and you take on this leadership role and not in a huge crazy, scary way, but like you just go from not being the newbie in the group to someone who’s been there for a few weeks to, “Oh my God, I’ve been here for 90 days and I’m a veteran now. I need to keep my act together. Ooh shit. People are looking at me, people are watching me and I’m inspiring others. Okay, I got to keep this up. I can’t go fricking binge on pizza this weekend. I need to keep this up. I got to get my workouts in because people are looking to see if I’m tracking, people are looking to see if I’m showing up.” That’s the type of healthy pressure that I’m talking about and I love that we can see that transition in my group. So when you do become a bomb mom and you guys can start being a bomb mom, even if you’re not in my group. That’s totally fine. That’s why I love you listening to this podcast. But you start making changes that are going to last and they’re going to stick with you for the rest of your life, people are going to notice and these changes are going to be here to stay. But here’s the thing. Here’s what makes a bomb mom different in comparison to someone who’s like, you know, just recently lost weight or is like on a health kick. Like how can you tell the difference? How can you tell like someone’s really a bomb mom or if they’re just like, “Oh, you know, Jennifer over here is just like getting healthy and she’s on this diet. Oh, well she even lost like five pounds. Oh my God, I wonder what she’s doing.” And you’re just starting to inspire people, but how can you tell the difference? Because people get on these health kicks and these health journeys of like all this shit all the time. Like how many friends can you think of right now off the top of your head of like, “Oh yeah, she was on a diet last summer and she was really good. Oh my God, I saw her the other day. She does not look the same anymore.” Like all of this, right? We can think of a lot of people, but here’s the thing that makes us different. Bomb moms make changes for life. We fail. Wait, I thought you just said you make changes for life and then you said you fail. We fail over and over again. We do bomb moms fail. I fricking fail all the time. Bomb mom’s fail, but we get right back up. We have the kids that get the flu and pink eye or like something devastating happens in our lives. We lose people, work is insane, but we get right back up. Bomb moms put in the work. We put in the hours of training, we make changes to our nutrition, we say no to like pizza night and fast food and we make better choices, but we also enjoy balance and we definitely have setbacks. The biggest thing that makes you a bomb mom, regardless if you are in my group or not, is you don’t stop. You get back up. So, what if you missed a week at the gym? Like so, what? Most women who aren’t a bomb mom and that are just on like a health kick don’t go back. Or they do go back, but they don’t go back for like another fricking four weeks. Like, “Oh my God, I haven’t checked into the gym in like six weeks. It’s been insane.” So think about that. When we start this journey, we know that it’s going to be long. We know it’s going to be difficult, but we don’t give up. We have goals and we are determined to hit them. Like we just don’t stop. That takes practice and it also takes a little bit of healthy pressure because other people are watching and you’re like, “Oh crap, I can’t stop.” Love it. So when this starts happening and this transition starts happening and you’re like, “Oh my God, I’m still going. That was a really crappy week, but holy crap. I’m still going and becoming a bomb mom.” When we start this journey, other people are going to notice this and they will start to see that this isn’t just a health kick and that you’re not just like on a diet and before you know it, you’ve inspired someone else around you and they begin to make changes in your life. Health is contagious. Negativity is contagious. Unfortunately, I think negative behavior and a not so positive attitude is a little bit more contagious. Absolutely. But health and positive are definitely contagious too. And just like people can be a bad influence, we can be just as much of a good influence. But one of the biggest impacts that you’re going to make though is in your inner circle and that’s on your family. So, the decisions that you make as a mom and the leader of your family will have a direct impact on your children. And this doesn’t matter if they’re 5, 2, 10, 11 teenagers or even adults. It doesn’t matter guys. They will naturally follow you. And you’re the mom. You’re the mom. They might not act like it, they might not say it, but you guys, your mom, they came out of your body or you raised and loved them as if they did. Now, this might not happen overnight, but eventually they will, mark my word. They will follow in your footsteps and I always tell the women when they join my program, or if they’re thinking about joining. I always tell them like, “Yes, this is for you. Yes, you’re becoming a bomb mom for you. Awesome. Yay, but this isn’t just for you. You will be affecting your entire family and the lives of your children and your children’s children and your children’s children.”. Like how cool is it that if you make a decision today and you clean up your act and you get your health and your life together, you’re literally affecting generations to come. That’s fucking cool. Like that is so amazing and it’s kind of mind boggling when you think about it and you step back and you’re like, “Holy crap, I’m affecting the life of my grandchildren.” Absolutely. Absolutely. Just keep thinking about that. But you have to lead by example and showing them how hard work, dedication pays off. It’s extremely powerful and it pays off. Your eating habits will begin to change, which means that what you allow into the house and don’t allow into the house, that will change as well and it’ll slowly start to take shape. Now again, you guys, this is going to take time but you are inspiring them even if it doesn’t seem like it. Even if you’re like, “Oh my God, I’m just hitting my head against the wall right now. No one’s listening to me. My words are falling on deaf ears. Seriously Melissa, like no one’s listening. It’s been four weeks and everyone still wants fucking Doritos.” Like no you guys, it’s happening. It is happening, but it takes a lot of time and you know you’re going to get resistance from them at first. You totally are and you’re going to be like, “Inspirational and what’s going on in my home right now is the last word that I would use to describe what’s happening.” And that’s okay. That’s totally okay. You guys, I promise you over time and time is going to be your best friend. I know it feels like, your worst enemy, seriously, but time is what’s going to prove to them that you’re serious, that this is happening and failure and showing them that you’re failing and then getting back up, that’s inspirational. That’s going to happen, but gradual process is going to be good for you too. That longevity is going to help you keep going as well, and it’s going to help keep you on your toes, right? So you got to. you have to prove to yourself and those around you that you’re serious and time is going to be your best friend and your biggest enemy too. The one of the motto I have to say, one of the mottos of our group Busy to Bomb Fit Mom is this time, like this time in this program or this time in your life, you get to find out what happens when you don’t quit. That’s freaking cool. That’s really, really cool because we’ve tried things that did quit. There’s time you get to find out what happens when you don’t quit. That totally bleeds inspiration. I love it. So slowly but surely you’re going to start to see and hear little things happening and you’re going to hear words like, “Mom, I chose a salad today and had chicken on it and I made sure I had protein,” or you know, “I chose the granola bar at practice today over the donut.” Like that’s really cool. Or you know, the little ones are like, “Mom, look how strong I am. I can do pushups just like you.” You’re going to start hearing little things like that. And it’s going to take a while, weeks, months, but you’re going to hear it and then you’re going to be like, “Oh, my God, Melissa is right. It’s happening. That’s really cool.” You’re going to hear things like co-workers on their lunch break and they’re going to be like, “Oh my God, I’ve just been watching you and you’ve been doing so good. You’ve inspired me to start taking walks on my lunch break,” or, “I pack this instead of this.” And they’ll let you know. Like we have stories upon stories. I’ve had stories of women sharing in the group of like, “Oh my God, my co-workers are all doing this now.” You know, they’re all doing like the squat challenge in the group and, “Oh my God, my co-worker like totally cleaning up her diet because she’s been watching me on the side and our cubicles are right next to each other,” and like, “Oh the teacher’s in the lunchroom, we’re eating together now and they’re seeing what I’m eating and they’re all starting to make changes.” It’s working. Like that’s inspiration. You’re starting to inspire others and that puts that a healthy pressure on you and it keeps you going. Like I love it. And if you’re married, like sooner or later, and this is a whole another talk, but sooner or later husbands, boyfriends, they will come on board because no man wants to be left in the dust when their woman is getting hot and making changes. So eventually, he will say like, “Okay fine. You know, what does Melissa say I should be eating for lunch? Like, oh my God, you know, or he ends up joining your gym too. He probably fought you on it. He was like, “We don’t need a membership, blah, blah, blah,” and then before you know it, he’s like, “Okay, I’m going to get a gym membership too. I’m going to come with you.” It’s hilarious when they start making the changes, but you guys, I’ve had so many husbands in the group that were like, not in the group but married to women that I work with and they’re like, “Oh, who is this person? Oh, what a waste of time. It’s another one of those things.” And they’re just like totally on the negative train. And I told the woman, I’m like, “Just keep pushing through. Block it out, use this as your environment instead. They will come around.” And sure, as shit they do like almost every time. But you guys are going to make an impact. This is just what bomb moms do and that’s, there’s a reason that this is one of the pillars and helps lay the foundation for your journey. This layer of inspiration is going to help you stick with it along with the other pillars. But this is an important one. It’s a crucial step to helping you make changes for life. Become that mini leader in your own circle, become that leader around just you know, a few of your friends and especially your family. Being in this position and allowing yourself to be in this position to aspire to inspire, that’s going to help you grow even more. But no one else is going to tell you this. No one is going to tell you that like, “Hey, to be really fit and like to stick with this journey so you don’t quit it again, oh yeah, you have to be inspirational. Like that’s part of your journey.” Like you’re not going to see that on TV or even in a magazine. Like no one else is going to tell you that this is like a really big step to your process. I will. I’m 110% going to tell you that because I’ve lived it, I’ve done it, I’ve been there and I can tell you without it and without stepping into that role a little bit, having that healthy pressure, yeah, it’s very easy to fall and not get back up. And then you’re just on the hamster wheel again. You’re on that roller coaster of like, “Oh, I’m doing so good. I’m eating salads every day.” And then you’re like, “Oh my God, I totally binged this weekend. Oh my God, I lost five pounds. Like I’m doing so good. Oh my God, I just gained fucking 10 pounds.” Get off the rollercoaster. Plug in the little piece of inspiration. But you can only be inspirational if you stick with it. And you can only stick with it if you keep going. See how it all falls into place. So, I’m going to give you guys a few tips on how to aspire and how to inspire at home. Aspire to inspire at home. One way to keep the impact and that going at home is to actually work out from home. Now I know some of you are like, “What?” Now, I have both. I have the women that are like, “I can only work out from home.” Like that’s the only way it happens because they don’t have the time to drive to the gym or they can’t afford a membership or like whatever. Like my group, about 25% of the women work out from home. I totally get it. I understand it. If you don’t listen up, but even if you do work out at home, like apply these tips. If you don’t work out at home, try and do it at least just once a month. You know, I realize that it’s not the best environment, it may might not be the best space and you might not have the best room or whatever to do it or you’re like, “No, that’s my time. I don’t want to invite anyone into my time.” But it’s really, really powerful guys. Your family needs to see you sweat, struggle, maybe cause a little, breathing heavy, lifting those weights. They need to see you doing this because that puts you in a position of like power, power full. They’re watching you put in the work and the time and the hustle and the grind and they’re like, “Oh my God, look at my mom work.” And they just, you know, they might be running around like the kids might be running around and stuff, but they’re watching. They see you. And adults and teens, they see you even more. They really do. But I want you to talk about your fitness. Talk about going to do your workout. Don’t say things like, this is the biggest tip I can give you. Don’t say things like, “Oh yeah, I’m trying to get in shape. I’m trying to lose weight.” No. Oh my God. Do not even go there. Don’t even open that door. Say things like, “I’m trying to get stronger. I really want my body to be healthier. I’m doing this because I love myself. My food is my fuel.” Don’t say anything about bikini season, don’t say anything about short season, don’t say anything about, “Oh, I’ve just started to get in shape.” And God forbid, please do not say anything about losing weight in front of your children and your family or even your husband. Everyone needs to know that this is about a lifestyle and the health of it, the fit of it. That’s what this is about. Now when you have these conversations about going to the gym, you know, tell them. Like, “This is what I’m doing today. Hey, I’m going to do biceps and triceps. You know why? Because when I pick things up, that works my bicep, or if I wave like I want a really strong tricep or I am going to work shoulders day because when I pick you up, I want you to be 13 and still be able to pick you up.” Have conversations about the health of the fitness and the health of your workout. That’s what’s going to be powerful. I even tell my kids like, “I do it because I want to have more energy and I want to be still kicking your butt on the volleyball court in 15 years and beating you,” you know, and poke at them a little bit. And you’re going to think like your kids totally don’t care. I know some of you are thinking like, “No, not my kids. My kids could like totally care less if I’m working out or not. Like no one cares. No one’s paying attention.” It’s false. They are. They’re watching and they care. Absolutely. They might not say it right away, they might not think it, they might not even look at you, but that one workout a month at home, it’s going to make an impact. And then what’s really neat is like if you do it once a month, they get to see a little bit of changes. They get to watch you do your pushups the first month and then like the next month they’re like, “Oh my God, mom,” or especially teenagers, they won’t say anything to you. They’ll just be in the back and they’ll be like, “Hmm. I remember when she did this last month and she could only do like five. Holy crap. I think she just counted out 10.” They won’t say anything to you. They’ll walk by and just roll their eyes and that’s fine, but know that you’re inspiring them. You’re impacting them. They’re going to see that physical fitness. It’s just a way of life. Like it’s not negotiable. It’s just what we do and they’re going to grow up and be like, “Yeah, my mom works out every day. It’s just what we do.” Like you go off to college, do your classes, do your thing, still going to go to the gym. “Oh my God, my college has an awesome gym in a weight room and stuff. Like, yeah, it’s just what we do. Aren’t you going to go work out with me? I want to stay healthy and strong.” That’s really cool. I also talk about strength. I want you guys to talk about strength with your kids. And I compare my body and our bodies, their body to a machine, right? And with food and nutrition, food is fuel. It’s plain and simple. Our M&Ms fuel? Nope. Look at the ingredients, look what’s in them, look at the sugar. Are they fun to have as a treat every now and then? Sure, but they are not fuel and our bodies are a well-oiled machine. If you put the right foods in it, it will operate at peak performance. If you put the wrong foods in it, it won’t. Also, if you just let your machine sit there, if you don’t exercise, if you don’t move it every single day it will get rusty. It will be slow, it will not work properly, it will break down. Think about those things. Use that type of verbiage with your family and your kids. And what happens when you have a machine, use it all the time and then like you set it off to the side or like a toy or like something they can relate to? I’m sure you can figure it out and find something that they could relate to and it sits over there, the batteries get gross in it and then you try to turn on. It’s all slow and moving. That’s why it’s important to be consistent. We want that to work all the time so we have to keep it moving. That’s the same thing with exercise. That inspires them. It makes sense to them. The last thing that I always say to my girls, because I have three girls, which I’m sure you know by now. I tell them all the time in this house we are athletes, we eat and we train. We do not diet and exercise. We eat and we train. And training can be going for a walk. Training doesn’t have to be like, “Oh, at the court training, lifting weights at the gym with mom.” No, training could just be like going for a walk. “Hey, we’re being active today. We’re moving, we’re training and we eat. We do not diet. We put food and fuel in our body. It’s all about being healthy and loving your body so much that, you love your body and yourself so much that you want to make it stronger. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to be stronger. So, here’s your action step guys. I always like to leave with you a little bit of action step and I want you to just take motion and take action today if you can. What’s one thing that you could start doing today that would help your family’s overall health and lifestyle? Think about it right now. Put it in the notes of your phone. If you’re driving, don’t do anything. But start thinking about could we have a walking day? Like, this is just what we do Sunday after church or like whatever. We go walking, 30 minutes, rain, heat, sunshine, snow? We do it. It’s just what we do, no matter what. You could do squats and movie night. Whoever does the most squats within the next five minutes gets to pick the movie. Like simple little fun things that you could do at home. It’s just action. It’s just activity. What about doing many challenges at home? Like create a chart. Everyone keeps track of how many squats they could do in a week. Add them up and then the winner gets a prize, not food, not ice cream. Maybe there’s like a pair of earrings that your daughter really wanted or like, you know, it’s time for new shoes or like something rewarding that you could do. A date night with your child. Whoever did the most squats wins, but just really stress the importance of your honor. Our greens night. Everyone has to pick one of their favorite green foods, salad, broccoli, cucumbers. Everyone picks their favorite and that’s what we’re going to make our dinner out of. Everyone contributes. But do you see what I mean? Just simple action steps, but here’s the thing, guys. You have to be committed to it and stick with it with a no matter what attitude, because you want them to look back and you want them to be like, “Oh my God, mom, we’ve been doing this for like a year.” You want their friends to come over and you still do it. You still go for the walk and your kid should be like, “Yes. Oh no, this is what we do. This is our norm.” But you guys, that’s going to take commitment, it’s going to take time, but do it. It’s so worth it. You’re going to love the benefits from it. And if you start incorporating this, you guys, I want you to email me and tell me. Please, please, please, please info@melissavogelfitness.com. Email me, tell me. I want to hear your stories of like, “Okay, we totally started the weekly walk or we totally started squats and movie night.” Tell me. I want to know. I want to hear what you guys are doing and incorporating. All right? So, make sure you guys sign up for my email course because you’re going to learn more about how you can start to become a bomb mom today. Also, be sure to rate and review this podcast. That helps the podcast, it helps me and I’m here to help you. So help me. Help me help you. Alright you guys, I am so glad that we got to talk about inspiration today. It was just, it’s one of my favorite topics. I love it and I’d love to hear even more of your stories of how you’re inspiring others. So again, email me, I want to know info@melissavogelfitness.com. Have an amazing day guys. Keep coming back. We got more to come and I love having you all here. Bye. If you’re ready to become a bomb mom, join my free course over at www.melissavogelfitness.com/course. This podcast is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regards to the subject matter covered. This is given with the understanding that neither the host, Practice of the Practice, or the guests are providing legal, mental health, nutritional, or other professional information. If you need a professional, you should find one.