[MELISSA VOGEL]: The Bomb Mom Podcast is part of the Practice of the Practice podcast network, a family of podcasts that are making the world better. You’ll also probably like the Imperfect Thriving podcast, Beta Male Revolution, and Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. Check them out at www.practiceofthepractice.com/network. Hey, what’s up, everyone? If you’re looking to be inspired, motivated, educated, and entertained, you have come to the right place. Welcome to the Bomb Mom Podcast, the podcast where we explore your fitness, life, mindsets, and actions that help you become unstoppable. You’re worth it and it’s time to finally make changes in your life that will last you the rest of your life. Hello everyone and welcome back to the Bomb Mom podcast. I’m Melissa Vogel, your fearless leader, your host for this amazing podcast that I hope you are all enjoying. And if you’ve missed any previous episodes, make sure you go back because they are there ready and waiting for you to listen to them and learn and grow and love. So today’s episode, it is, OMG, She’s Obsessed. And I love this title because I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard those words and I’m totally okay with it and I’m going to help you guys become completely okay with it because the deeper you get into your fitness journey, the more you take this serious, the more changes you have happening in your life and with your body and your family. People are going to look at you differently. It’s going to happen. Sometimes you’re going to hear about it, and a little bit of a story I’m going to tell you about today that I experienced, other times, you’re not going to know. You’re going to have no idea but you’ll kind of get just the feeling that it’s happening around you. But just know that you’ve made some real changes in your life when you get the response, “Oh my God, she’s obsessed.” Because then you know that these changes other people are seeing. They’re witnessing it. It’s like becoming a part of your life, your food choices, your activity level, your workouts, and your body’s going to start changing. And then people start talking and that’s not a bad thing. I want you to embrace it, I want you to love it, I want it to be something that you’re okay with. And that takes toughening up your skin. So I teach and coach all my clients and the members of my bomb squad fitness program to make fitness a part of your life. And when you do this, it’s never going to feel like a job or a chore. It’s going to become something that you just live for and that you strive to do. I’ve said this before and I say it to people when I talk to them on the phone all the time, and new members, I’m always like, “You’re going to become the mom that when you’re on family vacation, you disappear for 30 minutes every morning and everyone just knows like that’s what you do. And if you go with your girlfriends for a weekend or you’re on a business trip, like people know you are the one in the gym getting it done.” And when that becomes who you are, you don’t even care what they say first of all. But second of all, like it’s just the norm and then everyone knows you for that. So they don’t have anything to talk about because it’s just who you are. So that’s one thing that we’re going to continue to talk about, I’m going to continue to help you with and just make it okay to be okay with that. And I’m going to be honest with you guys. So not everyone is cut out to be fit. “Whew. What? What did she just say?” But it’s true. It’s true. Not everyone is cut out for this lifestyle. Everyone has the potential and the possibility, but you guys, not everyone’s cut out. And that’s because this takes time, it takes practice, it takes failing a lot and learning and knowing and learning your limits. And not everyone is cut out for that. But maybe, just maybe by listening to this podcast or following me on social media, you can figure that out. You can be like, “You know what? I think I can be a bomb mom.” Or maybe you’ll have the realization, “I just really like Melissa, but this just isn’t for me. Like that’s not who I am, but I’m going to love Melissa.” And that’s totally okay. I fully embrace both and just secretly hope that I just keep dripping on you that you become the person wanting to be a bomb mom and you don’t just like me. You want to do it too. That just will take time, but there’s so many people that say they want to be fit, but many people don’t want to put in the work and they worry about too much about what other people are going to say. They don’t enjoy being pushed, challenged. They don’t want to break free or become someone different and that’s okay. But if you’re game and you know you’re going to be uncomfortable and you start to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, we can make some changes. It’s like that one saying that the Marines have, ‘Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die.’ I heard Will Smith say that before? It’s all over YouTube and stuff, and I was like, “Oh damn, that is like so spot on.” Everyone wants the body, right? Everyone wants the fit family and the lifestyle and like everyone wants to be able to put on that bikini and just grab whatever they have in their closet, throw it out, and they don’t have to stand in front of the mirror and analyze the shit out of their outfit. Like, “Oh my God, well what if I’m at this angle? Does it look bad on me? Or what if I’m at this angle? Does that look bad on me?” We’ve all been there. But imagine not having that and having the freedom to just throw whatever you want on. Everyone wants that, but that’s heaven, right? Does anyone want to die for it? Because in a lot of your workouts and stuff, like you’re going to die, but that is what’s going to get your results. So just think about it. It’s definitely something to consider. Are you willing to put in the work and part of the work and something that comes along with that is naysayers. “Oh my God, she’s obsessed.” And people will not always agree with your journey. They’re just not going to. They’re going to say things like, “Did you see her? Did you see what she did? Oh my God, and she’s getting too skinny. Oh yeah, I noticed that too.” Like it just goes on and on and on because they don’t want to be reminded that they’re not doing anything. But remember this, I’ve heard this several times. It’s not a Melissa Vogel saying. It’s not something that I came up with. I’ve heard it in many like motivational speeches and talks. Other people’s opinion about us is none of our business. How true is that? Just sit and think about that for a minute. If you’ve never heard that saying before, maybe you heard it a while ago and you’re like, “Oh yeah, I forgot about that.” Think about that. What other people think of you? None of your it isn’t my business. I’m not going to worry about what they’re saying.” And it kind of takes the pressure off of too, don’t you think? Because you don’t have control over what they’re going to say. And guess what? It ain’t none of your business. So think about that, write it out if you need to, put it on a card. And it’s okay if you don’t want to admit that what people say about you bothers you. We all have been there and we’ve all said, “Oh, I don’t care what anyone else thinks.” It’s super easy to say that until it happens to you, until you overhear someone in the bathroom stalls talking shit and they don’t know you’re in there. Yes. True story. This happened to me at a softball practice. This particular story probably happened to me about five years ago. I think this was the first real time that it happened to me where I actually overheard other moms talking shit. I think this was my very first wakeup call that this was happening. I’m sure I knew people were whispering about me or like making comments or you know, hearing things through family but this was the first experience for me that it stung, I heard it, it wasn’t through the great vine. It wasn’t something that she said, she said, she said. It was hard. It was definitely hard. So, I was at softball practice and when my daughters first became involved in sports, I quickly realized how much time was spent just sitting like it was insane. Literally eight hours a week of just doing nothing if I let it. And because they had practiced, you know, usually or some type of dance class like four times a week sitting there, two hours, two, four, six, eight, but it adds up really quick. That’s eight hours of doing nothing. So I was like, this is what I started my journey and I started using that time to work out. Like just the things that I started out small. During softball season, I would start to bring the stroller and I would take laps and I’d pile the kids in it and I quickly became bored with that and that turned into like walking lunges and squats and that eventually turned into like full hit workouts at practice. Yes, I was that mom. Now, you know, just imagine seeing this crazy mom workout while you just sat there. That could be a trigger for someone. Some women that would inspire them. Absolutely. That would inspire them to get up, get moving and be like, “Hey, can I join you? Oh my God, what you’re doing.” Instead of, “Oh my God, she’s obsessed. Oh my God, what’s she doing?” And that’s cool. That’s really, really cool that for some people that inspires them. Unfortunately. It also triggers something in other people and I slowly started becoming less and less a part of the like the “mom group”, not by choice, not because I was like, you know, I guess I was excluding myself by not sitting there and socializing. But I did in the beginning and I did at the end. I just didn’t sit there the whole time and I found myself not being welcomed as much anymore. I was like, “Okay, that’s cool.” But I always was friendly in the beginning, I always tried to make time at the end, heard the announcements, whatever I needed to do, but I was like, “I am not going to fucking sit here for two hours and watch my kid swing and miss the ball and throw the ball and not catch it. And like, no, it’s not going to happen. I’m going to move.” So I’ve always struggled with fitting in, fitting in in grade school, middle school, high school, even college. It’s something that I’ve always struggled with; getting along with other females, other moms, you know, once I became a mom. It’s not that people didn’t like me or I didn’t like them. I could just tell I was different. I’ve noticed this very early on and then when I became a mom, you know, it kind of amplifies that and then you’re really stuck in this category. So being someone who really struggled with fitting in and then being in this category like, “Oh this is your, these are your people now. This is your group. It was already difficult and then it just kind of made it a little bit more difficult, you know? And then I noticed myself getting pushed out even more. So it was already a struggle. Then I got really labeled and then I was like getting pushed out even more. And one day I was in the bathroom and I had gotten like all sweaty and I knew I was going like other things. I had other things to do and I was in the bathroom changing and so I was in there for a longer, you know, I probably had two kids with me in there, who knows? And I started taking my clothes off and I’m like doing my shoes and they probably didn’t think it was me in there. Two moms came in and started talking about food and the team snacks and then that led to immediate body shaming of themselves of, “Oh my God, yeah, I can’t eat that. I’m on a diet again and I feel like I’m just so fat now.” They were like body shaming themselves and for some reason that led them to me and, “Oh my God, did you see Melissa?” And they talked about, “Oh my God, I’m seriously like sweating right now.” I like going back to that moment. I can’t help it. But yeah, like, I’m getting like all warm and tingly right now. My cheeks just got flushed, but they talked about how obsessed I was with working out. They talked about my clothes, my leggings, what I wore to practice. I’m like, “Damn, I didn’t realize I was so fucking popular and you had so much to talk about me.” And then they start talking about my team snack choices. Yeah, because I didn’t bring the fruit snacks and the nasty granola bars that are filled with high fructose corn syrup. That’s fine. They just had a lot to say. I was frozen. I wish I had some really cool story right now to tell you of how I came out and I just like lit them up. I was like, “Oh my God, I’m in here and I heard everything you said. Fuck you.” Like no I didn’t. I think I crumbled to my knees. I sat down and I had, I know I had my kids with me now and I kind of like squatted down and hugged my knees and was just telling them to be quiet, before it was disgusting because you know, it’s softball and I started to cry and what really hurt was, I thought one of them was actually my friend. Like I thought she, oh she liked me and she had just said to me the other day that I inspired her to start moving and on her lunch break at work, she like went for a walk and stuff. I was totally wrong. I was completely wrong. She was going at it just as much as me. And you know, like I’d mentioned other in my other podcasts where you get to know me and see me and follow me, you’ll learn. Like I’ve always been active, I’ve always been into health and fitness and, but it really wasn’t until about five years ago that like I got serious and that’s when I decided no more mom blob, no more just being average. And so back then when this happened, I wasn’t tough enough to handle it. I wasn’t starting my fitness journey, but I was just starting my fitness journey, if that even makes sense. But I was not tough enough and equipped enough to handle that then and it kind of broke me. So I didn’t have the thick enough skin as I do now because the Melissa now and the woman I am now and the mom I’ve become, oh my God, I would have come out of those stalls with a few different choice of words for those haters And that’s exactly what they are. They were haters. They’re spreading hate, not love. And not that I would come out right now with like guns blazing but I definitely would have made awareness of what they were doing. Like, “A, you’re talking so much about me right now and you have your kid here. B, you’re just spreading negativity.” I would have made them feel really bad but not in a way of like a confrontational, you know, horn to horn block type talk. Like no that’s not, I don’t think that’s how I would handle it. I guess it would depend on what they were saying about me but you know, I was still pretty thin skin back then. I’m a lot tougher now. But long story short, you know, I finished my cry, I waited for them to leave and I still said nothing to them. I left immediately after practice because like I said before, I was making time at least to like, you know, talk after and be social and I’m sure I cried over it again later that night. And then I promised myself that that would be the last tear I shed for negativity. I vowed that in there to like keep going and I was getting used to that anger of them talking about me and how it hurt me to fuel me and not ruin me. And that was really, really important. So I share this because I want you all to know that it’s okay to go against the flow. It’s okay to be the mom doing the squats in the parking lot while your kids are inside a dance practice. It’s okay to be the mom who drops off your kid and joins a gym close by only because it’s down the road from hockey practice. I have a member in my bomb squad, so I call it my fitness program. This is the Bob Fit Mom. And when she first started she was really struggling with it, trying to figure out her schedule and I helped her work through it. I’m like, “Let’s map this out, let’s figure this out.” So she has a son that plays hockey and it’s, I think she said it was about a 45, 60 minute drive to hockey practice and home. Then hockey alone was like three hours. And I’m like, “There’s so much time here. Let’s figure this out.” And we did. We mapped out her schedule, we actually found a gym that was close by to hockey that she could go back and forth to. She was team mom. So she also had to be there and be active for some things, but not all of it. So we came up with a schedule and a gym close by that she could go to utilize that time. And did she have to do it every time, every practice? No, because there’s like four or five practices a week, you know. So we figured out, “Okay, Monday and Wednesday and Friday you’re going to work out at the gym there. Tuesday and Thursday you’re going to get up in the morning and you’re going to work out on those days.” So then that night at practice you’re off. You don’t have to worry about going to the gym. You don’t have to package it back that day. It’s totally fine. And you’re not getting up at 5:00 AM every single day to fit in the workouts. It’s a lot easier you guys to get up at 5:00 AM two times a week than it is five days a week. So we split it. Then she doesn’t have the association of early morning dreaded workout with fitness. We’re going to create a positive experience because anyone can get up twice, right? Anyone can do that. So it was really cool to take this cluster, you know, fuck schedule and come up with a routine that’s like helping her get in shape and she feels good and she’s utilizing her time and she’s still there for her son and it’s been awesome. It’s okay to make fitness such a big part of your life that others take notice. If no one’s noticing, then you’re not going hard enough. Just remember that. Keep telling yourself that like, “Oh no one said anything to me yet about my journey.” Go bigger. Definitely go bigger. You know and know too that all of this isn’t just for show. It’s not just to be active and moving. You guys, you’re going to get benefits from this. These changes of activity have a chemical effect on your brain and your hormones and your endorphins. So get moving and enjoy those. The mindset shift, the physical activity, all of this is what’s going to get the weight off and you’re going to be healthier, happier, and you’re going to be one step closer to hitting your goals. So remember, it’s not just for show, it’s not just for getting up and just moving. You do it right. You can have really, really cool benefits from it. Now I’m going to give you three action steps that I want you to start implementing into your life right away. If you have a pen and paper, I want you to write these down. If you’re driving or just listening at the gym or whatever, like that’s okay. You can come back and get them in the show notes. But step one, I want you to take these action steps. I want you to go against the flow. Okay? Look around. What is everyone else doing? Then do the exact opposite. If everyone’s walking to the right, you’re going to walk to the left now. Well, look around the next time you’re at your kid’s sporting practice, swimming, anything, something that you don’t have to sit and watch your kid play. Like if it’s their game or they’re an actual meat, like yeah, you probably should sit your butt down and enjoy their tournament. But if it’s just a practice and you really don’t need to be there, look around. Is everyone else sitting there? Then you get up and go do something else. Are there bleachers? Are there stairs? What can you do to start moving in just 10 minutes? It doesn’t have to be the entire time either, but just know that you should go against the flow and if you’re not sure what to do, just look what everyone else is doing and do the exact opposite. Find these small opportunities to get that extra activity in. So this could be something as simple as parking further away from the entrance, taking the stairs, loading up the kids in the cart when you go grocery shopping, just for extra weight to push. Have them all jump on. Give your kids, smaller kids a piggyback ride into the store. Their extra little body weight will be a huge difference on your body and you’re just going from the car to the store. Nothing’s wrong with that. Use the things around you. Use the tools around you to help. Got a baby, an infant in the carrier? While you’re standing there, use it as dead weight in between your legs and do squats. Just place the car seat on the floor, lift it up. Tap and lift and be aware too of how you carry your small children. Are you always carrying them on your right hip? Switch it up. Definitely carry them on the left. Now I know we always hold our children with the arm that we’re most confident with and that we’re strongest with, but when you can and you feel safe, switch it up. Go to the other side. If you don’t have to use a stroller with your baby carrier, do a bicep curl with it, wrap it on there. Get the extra weight in. I’ve never used a stroller or the baby carrier, but you know, oh my God, she’s obsessed. So what can I say? But it’s all these small things that you can do that are going to make a huge difference. Step two, track it. I want you to start tracking your activity. Why? Because there is power in seeing your progress. You feel accomplished. You did it. Anyone who has the Apple watch, it’s a really good feeling when it goes off and it’s like you closed all your rings, did you? You’re like, yes, I did have a badass. Today wasn’t even a hard day and I still closed all my rings. But it all adds up and it’s really hard to see any progress when all you see is just little things, you know like, “Okay, I got up and did squats today.” Yeah, like big deal. Like, “Okay, yeah I went into the gym like two times this week.” Those add up, those absolutely add up and when it all comes together for us and we can see it, it’s huge. So, get an Apple watch, get a Fitbit. There’s so many different trackers out there that you guys can use that aren’t expensive anymore. Five years ago, super expensive. Nowadays you can find something for pretty cheap and if you don’t want to buy anything, you don’t have to. Just get a journal, get a small, cheap journal from the dollar store, but track it. How many miles did you walk today? How many squats did you do? How many pushups did you do? Or just general, like call it sports workout, went to baseball practice, did sports workout, mark it down because then over time you’re going to be like, “Oh my God, I got 10 of them done today. That’s really cool.” Step three, reward yourself. Treat yourself. Positive reinforcement works for kids but guess what? It works for us too. It’s helping connect your brain and your body together. So when your body does something amazing like squats and you made the time, your brain is connecting. It’s like, “Oh yeah, good feelings are coming with us.” Why? Because if I do five of them, Melissa’s going to reward me. You have to connect that relationship between your body and your mind. Your fitness and your health will explode when you do that. That’s one of the biggest things people come to the group and they’re like, “I had no idea that there was even a connection there that need to be made.” You need to have a loving relationship between the two and it’s not something that just happens. It’s not something that we’re born with. You have to work on it, you have to physically connect them. And one way to do that is with rewards. It’s positive reinforcement, but you have to follow through with it. You have to give yourself the actual reward, which means you have to track it and log it. So, a couple ideas. One, get 10 workouts in for the week. Give yourself some reading time. That’s one thing I know I would love to do more of; is sit and read and it doesn’t have to be health or fitness. Could be like a dirty novel for all I care, but just to have that time and let my brain go away, escape, read a book. Like that’s good for my brains. Bird watching, TV for sure. 10 workouts, 20 minute reading time. Yes. Maybe you say, okay, you get 25 workouts in this month, you get some new shoes, new workout shoes. Keep track of it, log it, and then reward yourself. Because all this extra activity you’re probably going to realize pretty quickly like what you’re dealing with, what you’re working with, and your shoes are pretty crappy and it’s time for new ones. But what else can you do that would be really cool to reward yourself with? Five workouts, 500 squats equals reward. Track it, log it, make that crappy connection, because there’s nothing worse than dreading fitness. There’s nothing worse than dreading workouts. How can we make this relationship between our brain and our body more loving? So here’s my goal for all of you this week. Write this down. I want you to hit 200 calories with imperfect activities. Start those watches, start those Fitbits, log your steps and tracks. When you walk at the park, when you’re going into the store, add them up. Maybe you pushed your kids really far in a cart from the back of the parking lot to the door and you burn 25 calories. Write it down. Maybe you were looking at things in the aisle of the grocery store and you’re like, “You know what? No one’s in this aisle. I’ll do 10 squats right now.” Boom, five calories. Add it up. I want you all to try and just hit 200 calories with imperfect activity. I bet you could do it. This is going to be a small attainable goal for anyone to hit regardless of your current fitness level. So it doesn’t matter if you’re already a badass and you’re just listening to Bomb Mom for motivation, or maybe you’re like, “I really need to get my act together.” This would be perfect. Anyone can do it because everybody will benefit from an extra burn, muscle growth, resistance training. Can you do it? Can you hit that extra 200 calories? So remember, I want you guys to go against the flow. I want you to track it and then I want you to reward yourself. Thank you so much for listening again today, you guys, I cannot wait for the next episodes. I can’t wait to keep connecting with you all. Have an amazing day and always remember, it’s okay if you’re obsessed. Until next time, guys. If you’re ready to become a bomb mom, join my free course over at www.melissavogelfitness.com/course. This podcast is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. This is given with the understanding that neither the host, Practice of the Practice, or the guests are providing legal, mental health, nutritional, or other professional information. If you need a professional, you should find one.