[MELISSA VOGEL]: The Bomb Mom Podcast is part of the Practice of the Practice podcast network, a family of podcasts that are making the world better. You’ll also probably like the Imperfect Thriving podcast, Beta Male Revolution and Empowered and Unapologetic podcast. Check them out at www.practiceofthepractice.com/network. What’s up, everyone? If you’re looking to be inspired, motivated, educated, and entertained, you have come to the right place. Welcome to the Bomb Mom podcast, the podcast where we explore your fitness, life mindsets, and actions that help you become unstoppable. You’re worth it and it’s time to finally make changes in your life that will last you the rest of your life. Hello everyone and welcome back to the Bomb Mom podcast. I’m Melissa Vogel, your host, and I hope you all had a chance to listen to the first episode and was able to get to know me a little bit better. If you didn’t, you can always go back and revisit it. But today’s podcast, we’re going to be talking about what it means to be a bomb mom. And I know that term sounds so like, I don’t know, nineties bomb-like things were so bomb. I realized that it sounds cheesy, but I don’t really care. I use that term bomb, just because it can mean anything to anyone. Like bomb can mean explosive, powerful, just fricking cool. Back in the day, we used to use a term like a bombshell, like a woman was like a bombshell. I think Victoria’s Secret still uses that term, but it just can mean anything. So, I love using that and be a way to explain how you can live your life as a mom. You could be fricking bomb and you don’t have to be stuck into like, oh, a fit mom or like a healthy mom, or you know, or like, I don’t know, I just, I think bomb just sums it up and you can be whatever you want. So I want to tell you like what exactly it means to look like a bomb mom. And really all of this can be summed up in what I call the five pillars of being a bomb mom. So these are what they are. One, you’re being a master pivoter. I don’t think pivoter is a real word. I’m going to have to look that up. But it’s the first pillar. It’s mine. Being a master pivoter. We’ll talk about that today actually. Number two, you just have an active lifestyle. It’s just what we do. It’s who a bomb mom is. Number three, you have a determined mindset. Like you’re a fucking shark. Like that’s just you are. You’re determined. Four, she acts as if. Hmm. We will talk about that one later. What does that one mean? And five, she’s inspirational to the world, to her family, her friends, her coworkers. Like she’s the most amazing chick ever to her kids. So I know many of you are thinking like, “Oh yeah, that sounds really nice.” Like it sounds like it’s the perfect woman. Like she doesn’t exist or you know, that’s cool for someone else. But with my life, my job, kids sports, you know, I have this I that like I could never become all of those things.” And I’d get those thoughts and feelings and emotions too when I first came up with the five pillars and when I first started on this journey. I was like, “That’s not even possible. No one can become that.” And I’m here to tell you guys right now, one, stop telling yourself they’re untrue stories. Those are stories that you have written, you’ve come up with. All your excuses are just your opinion. They are not fact at all. So one, you can be that. Stop telling yourself that, and every single person listening to this right now has a 110% potential to become this amazing on fire, unstoppable bomb mom. You really can. It doesn’t matter where you’re at in your life. You have the potential, but it all starts with your mindset. Your mind is the general and it tells the troops, which is your body what to do. We’re going to dive more into that in future episodes and stuff, but I just want you to know that if you think you can, you’re right and if you think you can’t, you are also right. Your mind is the most powerful tool you possess. So use it wisely and your life will absolutely change. So, I used to think after having kids, you know, my life was just destined to be what it is. You know, I did not see myself as a bomb mom back then. I was like, “This is life.” You know, I had my mom as my example and my aunts and my grandma and cousins and you know, you have babies and some of them worked. Yeah. You just kind of live life, you know? And that’s when I came up with the term. And some people don’t like this term, mom blob. And sometimes when I use that in my ads or I talk about it in my Instagram story or stuff like that, people are like, “Oh my God. So that’s just what we are? As a blob? Like that’s what you think of us?” You know, you guys, this is my term, like I came up with mom blob. Like this is my thing. And I think it’s funny when I hear other women use it, but I think it describes perfectly what I thought my life would be like for the rest of my life. Just like this soft object that was like just kind of there. You know, like I was raised, I would raise kids, you know, I’d probably work a little, take care of the house, maybe have a dog, you know, a nice car. I don’t know, minivan, like take a few vacations. It doesn’t sound bad, right? And many people are like, “That’s my life. What’s wrong with it?” There’s nothing wrong with it. You know, you’re like really living the American dream. Like totally fine but like as my kids got just a little bit older, a little bit more independent, you know, I started to realize that I wasn’t okay with just being okay. And I opened my whole world to the possibility of like, “What if you weren’t just this soft, fluffy mom that drives a minivan and you could be like amazing and grow as your kids are growing?” And I didn’t want to just be in shape for having three kids. Like I don’t want anyone to ever look at me and be like, “Oh yeah, you look good for having three kids.” Like fuck you. Why? No. Like, I don’t want to just be in shape for having three kids. I didn’t want it to just be like really good at fitness classes at the gym. Like I didn’t just want to be like really good at spinning and be that girl in the front row that was like, “Oh my God, she shows up every week and she’s so good at spitting. Look at how much she burns it.” Like, what? No. And yes, you guys, I’m going to say it. This is not a popular statement, and I’m just going to say it. I didn’t want to just be someone’s mom. Like, let that sink in for just a minute. I know, I know. It’s hard to swallow. It was for me too, with the first time I said it out loud, but guess what guys? Those kids grow up and who are you after they’re gone? What’s your identity? You’re going to blink and your five-year-old’s going to be going off to college. That’s just life. And that’s okay. Like that’s totally okay. But I wanted to have my own identity still while I was still kicking ass at being a mom. Does that make sense? I didn’t just want to be my whole life, PTA, sports, kids, food, grocery shopping. Like it is, it’s a big part of my life, like huge part, but I did want that just to be the only thing. I wanted to keep my own identity and learning how to become a bomb mom has helped me grow and it literally altered the direction of my life because it gave me permission to want more. I wanted to become ripped. I wanted to become strong. You know, like I wanted to be that mom that had like the muscle, like when I pick my kid up, like you could see the muscles in my shoulders and my biceps and be like, yeah, “Oh yeah.” And I wanted to be the mom that’s like running around, you know, with my kids and being active. And when my kids become teenagers, like I want to be just as bad ass as they are. I don’t want to slow down. And for some reason, you know, we think you guys, we have kids, like we just get this mom body and become a mom blob and like, we’re just not sexy and cool and like all that anymore. And it’s not true. It’s not how it has to be. So I hope this podcast just keeps reminding you of that, of how fucking amazing that you could be. And I wanted to push myself to new limits. I wanted to constantly be challenged, challenging myself to break the mold of what motherhood looks like now in America. And I’m here to keep pushing you and challenging you to break that same mold with me. Now, Bomb Mom Fit Mom is an actual program and I’m sure you’ll see it in the show notes and see by email and you look up Melissa Vogel, Bomb Mom. You’re going to see my name and my face and you know, whatever. We’ll talk about that later. But I talk to a lot of women a week close, sometimes to 30 to 40 moms and these are specifically moms. This is how I grow and part of my business and run my business that I do on the side and stuff. And when these women book a call with me, we discuss the program and we see if it’s a fit for you or not, you know, based on our discussion and you’re either accepted into the group or you’re not because it’s either a fit for you or no. And I don’t like to waste time. I don’t want to waste your time or anyone else’s time. So, because I talk to this many women a week, I get to hear all of their struggles, issues, concerns, pains, physical, mental, emotional barriers, everything. And I’m here to tell you guys, it’s heartbreaking. It is seriously an epidemic that’s happening in our backyards. Moms are not okay. They’re hurting, they’re stuck, they’re depressed, they’re feeling trapped, they’re feeling unmotivated. Like they feel like they’re literally living life for someone else, like their kids, their significant other, their job, other family members, their parents. A lot of women take care of their parents or you know, just their husband, like whatever. It’s the saddest thing of what I have seen over the last few months in these women, moms. And maybe you’re someone listening to it right now, they’re not okay and maybe you’re not okay listening to this. Maybe you’ve lost yourself, maybe you’re living your life for someone else and you’re probably really good at it too. Like you’re probably the best mom ever. Most of us are because we give and we give and we give and we give to our family until we can’t give anymore. We will literally feed our family first and make sure they have a hot meal on that table while we’re still standing at the stove because now someone wants seconds and we’re giving them seconds and we haven’t even sat down yet. And then they’re done and then they you’re like, “Well shit, I haven’t even sat down to eat and I got to clean up because now the foods like in the pan and if I don’t get that out, you know you’re going to stick it up. You know like I know some of you are nodding your head going, “Oh my God, I get it.” Women don’t have goals for themselves anymore. They feel like totally alone. They’re tired and they don’t know how to move forward. Losing yourself to motherhood is a scary place to be and that can even happen if you’re not a stay at home mom. Like these are working moms, mostly working moms that I talk to. So even if you have a job and a career and you’re busy. Busy and activity doesn’t equal goals. It doesn’t make us okay then. So, it doesn’t matter if you’re sitting at home lost and sad and confused and like, “God, where did my life end up?” Or if you’re busy at work hustling and working for a boss and you’re going, “Where did my fucking life end up?” Like it doesn’t even matter. But women are stuck and I see it all the time every day. Women are just dying to talk to someone. So, and the biggest thing is like when they do identify it and like, “I know I get it. I need to start doing something else. I can’t just fricking sell girl scout cookies like all the time and be the mom.” Like that’s great. It’s fun. I bet you’re like the best troop mom ever but that can’t be all you do. You can’t like live for girl scout cookie season. So these women, like they join a gym, they try a new shake or pills, there’s programs online or on TV like the on-demand, the beach body and stuff and it’s something that was promised to them that would be easy, that’ll work this time. You know like, “Oh my God, you could work out in your living room from home. Just 20 minutes a day. Work out from home,” or, “Just all you need to do is drink this shake two times a day.” Can you guys feel the sarcasm coming through my voice into my microphone? “All you are going to do is drink these two shakes a day, oh and take a couple of these pills and then before bed you’re going to rub these oils on the bottom of your feet too and you are going to burn fat while you sleep and you’re going to be able to work at home and it’s going to be awesome and you’re going to lose all this weight and this shake is going to give you all this protein and energy that you need because then you can work out great.” Like all of these promises we have, and I’m not going to lie, it might work. It probably will work for a little while, 110%. You’ll probably lose a good five, seven pounds for sure. That’s like the easy stuff to come off because you’ve gone from no activity into activity. Sure. But guess what? Life happens. Kids get sick, demands at work, increase, marriage is stressful. You know, something happens and then we stop and you’re like, “Crap, I bought that on-demand. It’s $25 a month and I’ve turned it on once over the last four weeks.” Like, do you guys feel me? Is anyone raising their hand going, “Yup, that’s me. Oh my God. Melissa’s like totally in my head right now. How does she know this?” And then this is the worst part you guys. We feel like we failed and feeling like a failure is awful. And I’m here to admit we feel like we fail enough as a mom. I don’t know about you guys, but there’s always mom guilt that I’m working on and trying to overcome and we have to end it. And we don’t need to feel like we’re failing at our health and our fitness and our weight loss and just our entire personal journey either. Like, we don’t need that. So, there’s good news now that I’ve depressed the shit out of you now and you’re like, “Oh my God, where’s my life going? Melissa is right. Isn’t this terrible?” No, no, no. I’m going to pull you out you guys, because this is where being a bomb mom comes into play and you don’t have to keep living Groundhog’s day like this, like over and over again. Okay. So let’s talk about the first pillar. Do you guys remember what it was? It’s being a master pivoter, my word. Like I don’t think it’s a real word, but we’re going to make it a real word. Being a master pivoter. What does this mean? What is she talking about? So, life is going to happen, right? Like we already talked about it. It will never slow down and guess what? If it does slow down, that’s not a good thing because we’ll probably be dead. Like that, it’s not a good thing. Life is going to keep going. It’s never going to slow down. It will never be a good time. There’s never going to be where like the white pearly gates just open for you and the waters part and they’re like, “Here. Here’s two hours for you to work out now and eat right and oh look, there’s a master chef in your kitchen.” Like that’s never going to fucking happen ever. You have to learn how to have the ability to like work around obstacles to adjust. You have to be open to it. You have to learn how to boom pivot. Okay, what does this look like? Okay, here you go. Typical mom versus bomb mom. So, moms know that kids have practice after school, right? Most moms see like, oh, we’re busy. I pick them up, we come home, we have snacks, it’s after basketball. Then I got to go take this with a baseball and I kind of come back. Oh, and I think gymnastics is today. Like it’s just a busy schedule. Then we get home, we’re going to barely have time to do homework, I still got to make dinner, then I got to clean up dinner, I got to get them to bed, I got to give them a bath. I got to get lunches out and stuff ready for tomorrow. Like, “Oh shit. It’s spirit day. Like do we even have spiritwear? What? It’s sixties day? Like, I don’t know what sixties clothes word is that?” And by the time, I have to laugh, because I know you guys are going like, “Yeah. Oh yeah, I’ve been there.” And then by the time we’re done it’s like 10 o’clock at night. And like, okay, yeah, I guess I’ll eat there somewhere and I’ll work out when right. Typical mom, how she looks at it. Or how about this one? Your kid has practice, you know, so you’re doing that and that’s all fun. And then you get like the text after from the coach or like the team mom and they’re like, “Oh yeah, we’re going to have practice. And then after we’re going to have a team bonding dinner until 8:30. Yeah. Can you get your kid there? Great, thanks.” And you’re like, “Okay, well great.” Typical mom says, “Yeah, sure be there.” Gets the kids there, does it all, you know, like what else am I going to do? They have to be at team bonding dinner and whatever and I probably have to bring a dish to pass snack and fricking go into the store to get a box of cookies. Like great. And I’m going to probably eat four on the way there because I haven’t even had lunch yet. Typical mom. Bomb moms, we pivot. We 110% pivot. From the moment we wake up, we have a game plan. So if we know that the schedule is busy, there’s practice A, practice B, coming back, we are either going to fit that workout in while the child is at practice or we are going to do it after and we are going to stay in our leggings or our yoga pants and we’re going to stay in the mental head space because that’s what bomb moms do. It’s just what we do. It’s not an option. And if the kid has practice and then after there’s a team dinner, we pivot. Okay, so the kid is here to practice. I was going to take them home and then I was going to go to the gym and work out. Now I have to take them to a team dinner and sit there and play chatty Cathy with all the other moms. Great. Nope. I’m going to pivot. I’m going to drop them off at the team dinner and I’m still going to go get my workout in. Or, great, I have to sit there. I’m going to go to this team dinner now, now it’s taken my workout time, not going to the gym now. Now I’m going to go home and do one of my workouts from home. We pivot. We’re always finding a way. Does that make sense to you guys? And guess what? Here’s the really cool thing. The more you do it the better you get, but I’m not going to lie. Totally, totally not going to lie. It’s hard. It’s hard to do at first and you got to put in a lot of what I always talk about my group, I don’t feel like it reps, and it’s not easy, but I’m here to tell you it’s worth it. And when you become a bomb mob, you learn how to change, how to pivot, how to shuffle. Like, we literally need a tank top. It just, across the front of it that just says Pivot because in the busy working mom world, it’s very rare that things go as planned. Like the chances of my day going on schedule today, slim to none, slim to none. My schedule never changes, you know? And it’s always something with the kids or like drop them off at school and then you’re like, “Yeah, I’m going to go to the gym, I’m going to do this,” and then like you get a call from the school nurse and the kid has a pink eye. And you’re like, “Oh well great, because now I can’t even pick them up and take them to the gym daycare with me.” Like they’re fucking contagious and getting everyone else a pink eye. And you’re like great. Like Oh, Oh. But you don’t have to guys. You can learn new skills, techniques that teach you new habits. So when life does happen, you keep going. Bomb moms find a way, no matter what. You develop this, no matter what attitude, mindset. You become this mom that stays up late or gets up early before everyone else is up in and you fit it in. You’re the mom running at the playground with your kids at the park. You’re doing pull ups. They’re like, you’re the mom like attempting to do the monkey bars. What’s last time you drove the monkey bars? Think about it. This is what a bomb mom looks like. You are doing laps while your kids are at the baseball practice walking around the field because other moms are sitting there in a folding chair and they haven’t moved in two hours on their phones, but not you, not bomb moms because you know that every small little bit of activity counts and something is better than nothing. It will never be perfect. And we’re going to actually have a guest speaker on here to talk about imperfect actions. So I’m really excited about that to come. So you definitely want to stay tuned for that. But I’m going to leave you guys with three tips today because I want you to take action right now. I want to help you move forward to become just one small step closer to being a bomb mom. Just one small step. Because as far away as this concept of being a bomb mom is to you and you’re like, “That is just not my life right now. Like that is, I don’t even see the light at end of the tunnel. There’s no way I can become this. I’m 50 pounds overweight. Like she’s fricking crazy, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about, she doesn’t know my life story.” You guys stop right now and get off the dark trade, make the switch to the track, to the light train and know that just taking little steps every single day. And I’m going give you three. I’m going give you three tips right now. Taking these little steps every single day is one step closer to becoming that bomb mom. You can do it. You are worth it. You’re worth it. And guess what? Your kids are worth it too. Because when we change as a mom, when we become stronger, we have more energy. We eat better. That trickles down to our relationships with our significant other, our husband or spouse or boyfriend, girlfriend. That trickles down. And then that trickles down into our relationship with our kids. They’re not getting stressed mommy all the time, overworked mommy all the time, tired mommy, exhausted mommy. That’s powerful you guys. So when we put our oxygen mask on first, then we can help everyone else. And that’s what bomb moms do. So, here’s my three tips. Number one, this is what I want you to do tonight. I want you to sit down with a pen and your calendar and I want you to identify roadblocks. Do it for the next three days. Take it small, don’t do it for the next month, three days. I want you to identify roadblocks. What potentially could get in your way over the next three days that could keep you from being active or eating healthy. Is there pizza parties going on? Is there birthday parties? Is there a ton of sporting events? Do you have an event for work? Do you know that there’s going to be a catered lunch of tacos and Mexican food? Like is it coming? Is it happening? Is there birthday parties where there’s just going to be cake and ice cream? Is there just so many activities going on and dentist appointments and orthodontist appointments that anytime there was for you to get to the gym, it feels like it’s gone? How can you work around these? Number one, identify them. How can you work around them and you’re going to make your first pivot, even if it’s just one day. Even if you’re like, “Wednesday, that’s my day to workout. I’m going to do it. I’m going to do it. Okay, but I got this, this, this, this crap. How can I do it?” Pivot. Figure it out. There is time for you. You just have to find it and you have to want to find it. Number two, identify imperfect moments. What does that mean? Remember I said the gates are never going to open up for you? They’re going to be like, “Here. Here’s your workout time.” It’s not going to happen. So I want you to identify imperfect moments where you can be active, get a workout in, take time to make snacks, cut up vegetables. Maybe you’re doing that while the kids are eating their snack after school. You’re going to pull out your cucumbers and your peppers and you’re going to chop them up really quick. It’s the perfect timing? No, you’re supposed to be doing homework and cleaning up after them, but you’re going to take a hot second to prepare your snacks and get it done for you. But over the next couple of days, what are some imperfect moments that you can start taking action? Get a workout in? Is there a gap in between sporting practices? What about at sporting practices? What about at their practice? Then there’s a nearby gym. Maybe you could join a gym that’s close by because you know that you’re going to be at the dance studio right next door every single day, five days a week. Identify imperfect moments. While they’re at their practice, you’re the mom in the back doing squats and pushups in the parking lot or whatever. Is it perfect? No. Will you look weird? Maybe a little, but do you give a fuck? No, because you’re a bomb and you’re like, “I’m going to get it done.” And guess what? Those women are going to look at you and be like, “Oh my God. She’s doing it. Oh, maybe I should get up.” No one’s going to look at you and be like, “Oh my God, what are all those? Look at her doing squats in the back.” No one’s saying that. That’s just something you’re writing in your head. But maybe it’s also when the kids are in bed. Is it perfect? No. Do you want to go to sleep? Yes. Identify those imperfect moments. Number three, just fucking do it and then reward yourself. Just do it. If you take the time to make changes and figure out a way to take imperfect action, then you deserve a pat on the back. I do the rule of three, so doing three things that I am proud of and then reward yourself. People in my group, we do these all the time. We set very small, realistic goals, just three every single day. And you know what? Maybe that’s just getting the laundry off the couch and actually putting away. Seriously, that, how good does that feel when you’re like, “Oh my God, I just put away two loads of laundry. I did it.” That feels incredible. Or maybe you just took a hot second and did like 25 jacks, 25 pushups, 25 squats, 25 sit-ups. Like, “Boom, done. I did it.” That’s counts as one. Laundry counts as two. “Hey, I need a salad today with amazing, yummy things, instead of having a big loaded sandwich and potato chips or something.” That’s three. Now rewards yourself. Examples. Maybe you’re going to get that coffee at Starbucks that you’ve been dying for and you’re like, “No, I’m trying to eat healthy and I’m trying to like cut back on calories, blah, blah, blah, blah.” Maybe you reward yourself with that which is just a little bit smarter, healthier inside of it. Maybe you stop and allow yourself to read. Like, “You know what? I’m going to get these three things done and then I’m going to sit down and I’m going to read my hot novel.” Like who cares? Do it. Maybe you’re going to take a power nap. When’s the last time you sat down and took a nap? Reward yourself. Or, this is my favorite one. Maybe you need to go out and get new shoes and it’s time to get new tennis shoes. And since you were identifying imperfect moments and taking action earlier in your week, you realize like, “Oh my God, my shoes totally suck. I need new tennis shoes.” Do three things. Just fucking do it and then reward yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. And that’s positive reinforcement that’s going to help you move forward and it’s going to make you feel good inside. It’s going to make you feel accomplished. I just want you guys to remember, you don’t have to settle, you do not have to be average, you do not have to live and die by the family schedule and your work schedule. There is time for you. You just have to pivot a little to find it then execute. Execution is key because remember what you do over and over again is how habits are born. You just have to keep going and you have to do it when you don’t feel like it. A bomb mom seeks an opportunity that you know, her kids will be at practice and there’s opportunity to work out or sneaking on a long walk. It’s just what we do. Become that bomb mom. So go take action, practice your three tips that I just gave you right now and I will see you guys next time. If you’re ready to become a bomb mom, join my free course over www.melissavogelfitness.com/course. This podcast is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regards to the subject matter covered. This is given with the understanding that neither the host, Practice of the Practice or the guests are providing legal, mental health, nutritional, or other professional information. If you need a professional, you should find one.